Halloween Shelf: The Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1980)
Last year when we were watching the Tim Burton Legend of Sleepy Hollow (1999), we hypothesized a number of things that would have made the movie significantly better -- one of which was appropriately casting the lead role. (Johnny Depp kind of ruined it. Not that it was entirely his fault; he was miscast. And the script wasn't all that great to begin with.)
Our top picks were skinny, young Nicholas Cage, and skinny, young Jeff Goldblum. While scrolling through YouTube this year, Mr. Hall was very shocked to discover that the latter scenario actually happened -- there was a 1980 The Legend of Sleepy Hollow starring skinny, baby Jeff Goldblum. Ideal casting, right?!
Plot: Ichabod Crane is the new schoolmaster for Sleepy Hollow. He is informed there is a ghost in these here parts called The Headless Horseman. He is somewhat concerned by these reports of ghosts and kind of thinks he sees some things, and the folks in these parts begin to think he's going peculiar -- so they come up with the brilliant scheme to marry him off to some lady (because that will cure him of his fear of ghosts). However, there's a pretty girl named Katrina who he becomes smitten with, and she's not the one they want to marry him to...
The full movie! For free! With AMAZING VINTAGE COMMERCIALS!
Plot Problems It seems like every version of the story of Sleepy Hollow that I've seen has gotten hung up on something that made it a less-than-perfect experience. This version went, "That Washington Irving Sleepy Hollow story is just too short. We need to flesh it out with a subplot about... other ghosts! And Ichabod's boss deciding that he needs to get married! And we need to put some other lady in the story who wants to marry Bram Bones, so that there's this love-triangle thing..." In other words, there was too much fluff in this movie. The "other ghosts" subplots wound up more confusing than anything else. And do you know what gets lost under the weight of the marriage subplots? Oh, just a little story about a HEADLESS HORSEMAN which is the whole reason why anybody cares about Sleepy Hollow.
Actor Problems Oddly, the most immediate and obvious problem with this movie (like the 1999 version) is also the casting. The first thing that we see wrong is that the town bully, Bram Bones, is played by none other than Chicago football legend Dick Butkus. (No, I'm not kidding.)
...Who is not only patently not an actor, but is also not in the least bit scary or intimidating as the town bully. He comes across as slightly grumpy, but mainly a cuddly old-school Chicagoan (like one of Bill Swerski's Superfans) -- the kind of person you would want to have be your Dad. Now, I wholly appreciate that he would probably be Very Scary if you happened to be holding a football and he didn't want you to hold that football (Butkus on the field is said to have been "a well-conditioned animal, and every time he hit you, he tried to put you in the cemetery, not the hospital..."). But in this role... Oh dear. So not scary. Just very harmless and very time-period, and location, inappropriate.
AND THEN THERE'S THIS GUY.
"Look innocent." "Like this?" "Yeah, whatever."Oh, Jeff Goldblum. LITTLE DID I THINK YOU COULD BE MISCAST IN THIS ROLE. But he was -- he so was. Because, watching this, I discovered something that I kind of knew already; Jeff Goldblum isn't a bad actor, but there are two versions of him: he's either a) the very 1970's-style "natural" actor, or b) heightened Jeff Goldblum. You've seen this "heightened Jeff Goldblum" in films like Independence Day or Jurassic Park, where he's very goofy and over-the-top, and it works in those movies. "Natural, 1970's-style" Jeff Goldblum is similar, but more realistic.
"And so the aliens get taken down by - get this - a computer virus."
(Dick Butkus is unconvinced.)Casting Jeff Goldblum in a role where he has to deliver theatrical, period-style lines of dialogue, was an error of epic proportions. NOT EVEN *JEFF GOLDBLUM* APPEARS TO BELIEVE JEFF GOLDBLUM DELIVERING THESE LINES.
Now, if you don't understand what I mean by "theatrical, period-style lines of dialogue," allow me to present this scene from the 1951 version of Scrooge, as performed by two actors who knew how to speak old-timey language and present it in a heightened fashion:
Compare that to the first couple minutes of this movie... Watch it to the point that the other guy shows up with the sleigh to take Ichabod to town and says something about widows making the best wives.
... Do you see what I mean? Do you believe Jeff Goldblum as Ichabod Crane? Everything about Jeff Goldblum screams, "I don't understand why I'm in this movie." I'm not saying he's not making an effort, but he does not have the rhythm of the language. Of course, DO YOU BELIEVE ANYBODY IN THAT SCENE? Except maybe the eccentric old man with the sleigh?
The funny thing is, Jeff Goldblum, as-is, could have worked in this movie, IF the director had been aware who Jeff Goldblum was, what his acting style was, and played with it. If they had made his weird delivery part of his character -- and had everybody else like, "Why is he talking like that? What a weirdo this Ichabod Crane is..." It could have worked.
I'm serious! It could have worked! Maybe.But they didn't do that -- they insisted on trying to get a period-appropriate performance out of Jeff Goldblum (and Dick Butkus, for that matter) -- and it was just wholly a very strange experience because of how poorly it worked.
(Although frankly, even if they had attempted to play the movie around the weirdness and out-of-place-ness of Jeff Goldblum, I don't think the rest of the cast was composed of talented enough actors to get a multi-layered issue like that across to the audience.)
Side-note: Actress Meg Foster was in this movie as Katrina Van Tassel.
AKA "That Lady Who Usually Plays Evil People
Because She Has Really Extreme Looking Eyes".She was fine. As was the other lady (the widow who wants to hook up with Bram Bones, thus creating the love triangle - or love square, as the case may be) in the movie. They were both fine. Although I guess I could say that Meg Foster was kind of wasted. She wasn't in the movie very much, and didn't have much to do when she was there.
Ultimately... All of this is not to say that I didn't basically enjoy watching the movie. It was mystifying and embarrassing and funny to watch Jeff Goldblum-style acting stuck in a broad, period piece -- not to mention the hilariousness wrong-ness of Dick Butkus.
And also not to mention that the version of the movie that I've linked to above was taped off TV -- and has all the 1980's TV-commercial goodness still attached. That adds an extra layer of fun.
A chocolatey layer of fun!So, basically, what I'm saying is -- yeah, this qualifies as a "good bad movie". It was basically enjoyable to watch and laugh at, even if it was a bit lacking in the "headless horseman" category (because when he does finally make an appearance, the cinematography is so horrendous you basically can't see him or figure out what's going on). I'm not saying I'll watch it every day, or even every Halloween -- but I'm not displeased that I did. I'm on a bit of Jeff Goldblum kick this Halloween, so it fit right in. So, if you need a good-bad-movie this Halloween... check this one out!
RECOMMENDED(With "GOOD BAD MOVIE"-type Reservations)
Our top picks were skinny, young Nicholas Cage, and skinny, young Jeff Goldblum. While scrolling through YouTube this year, Mr. Hall was very shocked to discover that the latter scenario actually happened -- there was a 1980 The Legend of Sleepy Hollow starring skinny, baby Jeff Goldblum. Ideal casting, right?!
Plot: Ichabod Crane is the new schoolmaster for Sleepy Hollow. He is informed there is a ghost in these here parts called The Headless Horseman. He is somewhat concerned by these reports of ghosts and kind of thinks he sees some things, and the folks in these parts begin to think he's going peculiar -- so they come up with the brilliant scheme to marry him off to some lady (because that will cure him of his fear of ghosts). However, there's a pretty girl named Katrina who he becomes smitten with, and she's not the one they want to marry him to...
The full movie! For free! With AMAZING VINTAGE COMMERCIALS!
Plot Problems It seems like every version of the story of Sleepy Hollow that I've seen has gotten hung up on something that made it a less-than-perfect experience. This version went, "That Washington Irving Sleepy Hollow story is just too short. We need to flesh it out with a subplot about... other ghosts! And Ichabod's boss deciding that he needs to get married! And we need to put some other lady in the story who wants to marry Bram Bones, so that there's this love-triangle thing..." In other words, there was too much fluff in this movie. The "other ghosts" subplots wound up more confusing than anything else. And do you know what gets lost under the weight of the marriage subplots? Oh, just a little story about a HEADLESS HORSEMAN which is the whole reason why anybody cares about Sleepy Hollow.
Actor Problems Oddly, the most immediate and obvious problem with this movie (like the 1999 version) is also the casting. The first thing that we see wrong is that the town bully, Bram Bones, is played by none other than Chicago football legend Dick Butkus. (No, I'm not kidding.)
...Who is not only patently not an actor, but is also not in the least bit scary or intimidating as the town bully. He comes across as slightly grumpy, but mainly a cuddly old-school Chicagoan (like one of Bill Swerski's Superfans) -- the kind of person you would want to have be your Dad. Now, I wholly appreciate that he would probably be Very Scary if you happened to be holding a football and he didn't want you to hold that football (Butkus on the field is said to have been "a well-conditioned animal, and every time he hit you, he tried to put you in the cemetery, not the hospital..."). But in this role... Oh dear. So not scary. Just very harmless and very time-period, and location, inappropriate.
AND THEN THERE'S THIS GUY.
"Look innocent." "Like this?" "Yeah, whatever."Oh, Jeff Goldblum. LITTLE DID I THINK YOU COULD BE MISCAST IN THIS ROLE. But he was -- he so was. Because, watching this, I discovered something that I kind of knew already; Jeff Goldblum isn't a bad actor, but there are two versions of him: he's either a) the very 1970's-style "natural" actor, or b) heightened Jeff Goldblum. You've seen this "heightened Jeff Goldblum" in films like Independence Day or Jurassic Park, where he's very goofy and over-the-top, and it works in those movies. "Natural, 1970's-style" Jeff Goldblum is similar, but more realistic.
"And so the aliens get taken down by - get this - a computer virus."(Dick Butkus is unconvinced.)Casting Jeff Goldblum in a role where he has to deliver theatrical, period-style lines of dialogue, was an error of epic proportions. NOT EVEN *JEFF GOLDBLUM* APPEARS TO BELIEVE JEFF GOLDBLUM DELIVERING THESE LINES.
Now, if you don't understand what I mean by "theatrical, period-style lines of dialogue," allow me to present this scene from the 1951 version of Scrooge, as performed by two actors who knew how to speak old-timey language and present it in a heightened fashion:
Compare that to the first couple minutes of this movie... Watch it to the point that the other guy shows up with the sleigh to take Ichabod to town and says something about widows making the best wives.
... Do you see what I mean? Do you believe Jeff Goldblum as Ichabod Crane? Everything about Jeff Goldblum screams, "I don't understand why I'm in this movie." I'm not saying he's not making an effort, but he does not have the rhythm of the language. Of course, DO YOU BELIEVE ANYBODY IN THAT SCENE? Except maybe the eccentric old man with the sleigh?
The funny thing is, Jeff Goldblum, as-is, could have worked in this movie, IF the director had been aware who Jeff Goldblum was, what his acting style was, and played with it. If they had made his weird delivery part of his character -- and had everybody else like, "Why is he talking like that? What a weirdo this Ichabod Crane is..." It could have worked.
I'm serious! It could have worked! Maybe.But they didn't do that -- they insisted on trying to get a period-appropriate performance out of Jeff Goldblum (and Dick Butkus, for that matter) -- and it was just wholly a very strange experience because of how poorly it worked.(Although frankly, even if they had attempted to play the movie around the weirdness and out-of-place-ness of Jeff Goldblum, I don't think the rest of the cast was composed of talented enough actors to get a multi-layered issue like that across to the audience.)
Side-note: Actress Meg Foster was in this movie as Katrina Van Tassel.
AKA "That Lady Who Usually Plays Evil PeopleBecause She Has Really Extreme Looking Eyes".She was fine. As was the other lady (the widow who wants to hook up with Bram Bones, thus creating the love triangle - or love square, as the case may be) in the movie. They were both fine. Although I guess I could say that Meg Foster was kind of wasted. She wasn't in the movie very much, and didn't have much to do when she was there.
Ultimately... All of this is not to say that I didn't basically enjoy watching the movie. It was mystifying and embarrassing and funny to watch Jeff Goldblum-style acting stuck in a broad, period piece -- not to mention the hilariousness wrong-ness of Dick Butkus.
And also not to mention that the version of the movie that I've linked to above was taped off TV -- and has all the 1980's TV-commercial goodness still attached. That adds an extra layer of fun.
A chocolatey layer of fun!So, basically, what I'm saying is -- yeah, this qualifies as a "good bad movie". It was basically enjoyable to watch and laugh at, even if it was a bit lacking in the "headless horseman" category (because when he does finally make an appearance, the cinematography is so horrendous you basically can't see him or figure out what's going on). I'm not saying I'll watch it every day, or even every Halloween -- but I'm not displeased that I did. I'm on a bit of Jeff Goldblum kick this Halloween, so it fit right in. So, if you need a good-bad-movie this Halloween... check this one out!RECOMMENDED(With "GOOD BAD MOVIE"-type Reservations)
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