Still haven’t settled on the perfect costume for your kids this year? In the interest of good parenting, here are some helpful suggestions on what to definitely avoid, what to probably avoid, and even a few that are just “too darn cute”!

Daddy, do we have any crack left?

Must to avoid in airports, New York City,
and pretty much everywhere else.

Another must avoid costume in New York
…or on the planet earth.

It comes with Chianti…and a catheter.

Mommy, do I hafta?

Driving the pro-lifers crazy.

We should have put some holes in the lid.

Yes, that is an alien chest-burster. Just FYI.

Tom before Scientology

The Man in Black before Folsom prison

Karl Wallenda before the fall

Wassup?

Johnny! I told you not to run with scissors!

They say boiling is more humane.

Could I get that with fries?

Well, it’s a little early for Thanksgiving, but…

Slow and steady wins the race

Is it me, or does it smell really fresh in here?