Heavy Blanket
by Gabe Redel


As I ran hard against
who I once had been,
I worked with equal effort
to weave a heavy blanket
over my spirit.

The blanket held everything down
that I no longer believed in.

It was the same as when I had noticed
how beautiful the leaves were on the trees,
but then they fell
in thick layers
over my yard.
They smothered the grass
and I knew it would die without help.

I let my mouth weave
each thread of that heavy blanket
that held my spirit under
as I worked hard
sweating on the roads.

I knew nothing but the blindness
that was with me
as I suffocated in the heat.

I began to die.
I wanted to be there.
I couldn’t live
with who I had been.

But the other day
I saw that when the leaves were raked
from their piles,
underneath was fresh grass
growing long and green and lush.

The leaves had not yet smothered life.
The blanket had been removed at just the right time
until what was new and full of readiness
was strong enough to stand on its own.