Over the past few years, I've followed a path to optimism and positive thinking.I've always been pessimistic--to the point of cringing when I encountered extremely positive people--so this journey is incomplete at best, though I have changed immensely. I want to be positive about my life, enthusiastic about what I do; I want to enjoy life the way I enjoy life. I came to realize a few years ago with the help of my wellness coach, how negativity was poisoning my body, as well as my mind. It always has.This morning, as I read over a journal entry from earlier this week, I realized one of my biggest roadblocks is comparing myself and my work to others which turns me back down the fork of pessimism. Why do I do that? Why do I compare myself? When I do, I conclude that I don't fit in. I try to fit in, but I know it's not happening and maybe that's because I'm not meant to fit into a puzzle of similar pieces. I'm meant to be a unique piece in a bigger puzzle.Some don't understand how difficult it is to try to fit into the smaller puzzle that's linked to the bigger puzzle. The looks of judgement are real. I see them, the glances the others share between each other when I speak, write, contribute--approach a task different from their way. I can almost feel the eye rolls of some who read this.The judgement is real, too. People judge each other. Why? Because of difference. Because of fear of the unknown.The holidays are the worst time. I don't even shop in stores because it's the least pleasant time of year to be in stores. It begins right after Thanksgiving. People become rude and even more judgmental. This is supposed to be a happy time of year, a giving and caring time. So why are so many unhappy?My guess is, they are comparing themselves, too, and seemingly falling short. They believe their lives are filled with misery and nobody else cares, especially those who don't "seem" to struggle through life. They believe others are laughing at their struggles--some probably are--and rolling their eyes. Why? Why are they not happy with what they have?Comparison.Is comparison what makes the woman in the grocery store lose her manners? The middle schooler bring a gun to school? The man in the news photo commit six robberies? Are they comparing and falling short in their own eyes? Are they seeing themselves through the judging eyes of others? I believe it is the reason. Those people feel the laughter and eye rolls, see the looks of misunderstanding and fear. People cannot be positively positive and happy in their own skin if they are always comparing themselves to others or desiring what others have. If one person releases that desire to compare and starts to do what they love anyway, perhaps more will follow and the world will become a more respectful, caring place again.But, even if nobody else follows, I will continue that self journey to positivity by taking the step toward non comparison. True joy comes when I can see me through my eyes, when I stop seeing myself through the eyes of others, when I stop comparing myself, my work, my choices, to others, when I ignore the eye rolls. It's not fitting in with others and doing what they do that makes me a unique piece in the big puzzle of life; it's doing what I love, the way I do it best, on my own and ignoring those who judge, doubt, fear. It's the first step of many.