Mr. Ram was a gifted and brilliant undergraduate student at University of Ayodhya (10.0/10.0 GPA). All the students, staff, and faculty loved/worshipped him immensely and were really looking forward to his graduation. It was an open secret that shortly after getting his Bachelor’s degree, Mr. Ram would be offered a permanent, full-time job in the department. In certain circles, there were even rumors that his position was going to be most senior position ever created, and he would become the kind and generous leader/hero that they deserved. But alas! As the fate had it, even though Mr. Ram was the hero they deserved, he wasn’t the one they needed. Especially, not at that moment, according to Prof. Kaikeyi.

Now, Prof. Kaikeyi was quite hot and had a certain charm over the department head (Prof. Dasrath). So somehow, she convinced him that instead of Mr. Ram, Mr. Bharat, her favorite student, should be given the job instead. Now, Mr. Ram being Mr. Ram, coolheaded and what not, happily agreed to leave Ayodhya for graduate studies in the forests. Mr. Bharat, another old worshipper of Mr. Ram, tried his level-best to tell him that graduate school was pointless if one could get a good-paying job after undergrad only but Mr. Ram didn’t listen. Ultimately, they agreed that Mr. Ram would be allowed to fool around in the forests for about 14 years, pursuing his exotic but unrealistic research ideas. Afterwards, he can come and get the same job in the department which Mr. Bharat was happy to pass on to him anyway.

Thus began Mr. Ram’s painful but adventurous 14-year research journey in the forests. He spent the first 7 years getting an MS and a Ph.D. After that he did not know what to do but still needed to pass the remaining 7 years, so he decided to get a couple of post-docs around the world. Somewhere in this timeline (it’s not clear when), his favorite, most cherished, and pure experimental sample (Sita) gets stolen by a foreign, genius rival (Dr. Ravan). In order to get back his exotic sample Sita, he gathered his collaborators (Sugreev, Hanuman) and laid siege to Dr. Ravan’s lab. Also, I should mention that Dr. Ram’s collaborators happened to be monkeys (bear with me please, it’s all true) and by working with them he also acquired the highly sought-after skills in academia, i.e., teamwork, diversity, and inclusion. Finally, with the aid of a disgruntled ex-group member (Vibhishan) from Dr. Ravan’s lab, his monkey friends, as well as bureaucrats from heaven, Dr. Ram was able to retrieve his precious sample Sita.

Suddenly, everybody, like everybody in the battlefield, even the corpses started giving uncomfortable stares to Dr. Ram as he was about to put the sample Sita in his pristine vial. It was then he wondered aloud, “What if my precious sample Sita has become contaminated?” The only way to sterilize sample Sita was to put it through fire ignoring the possibility that the fire may alter its chemical structure. But lo and behold! Sample Sita survived the ignition test and was made pure again. Afterwards, everybody became extremely satisfied and extremely happy. Then, the whole army jumped into this mind-blowing airplane which could fly forward, backward, and sideways at your will, and flew back together to the University of Ayodhya.

Back in Ayodhya, all the worshippers, Mr. Bharat, and even Prof. Kaikeyi were eagerly waiting for Dr. Ram to come back and bless them. Shortly after his arrival, Dr. Ram was finally crowned as the Head of Department. And everybody, including the burnt sample Sita, went on to live merrily and happily ever after.

A few days after everybody had calmed down, Mr. Bharat pulled Prof. Ram aside and remarked to him,

“Bro Ram! Btw, I told you, you would have got this job 14 years ago anyway. Why didn’t you listen to me back then? Poor sample Sita had to go through all this ordeal of living in forests, getting kidnapped, and then getting burnt.”

“Oh actually, I really like traveling. And I really wanted to go out, see the world, and get some experience abroad. You won’t understand it Bharat. It’s called wanderlust.”