"You can't please everyone."

I've heard this phrase a lot since I started writing. Usually when there's divided opinion over something I've written. And I do get that. To try to produce something that everyone will love is unrealistic.

But yesterday, this phrase was on my mind. Why? Because of something I'd written in a WIP. It caused a debate among my beta readers, and it got me thinking about my goals. Do I strive for accuracy? Or do I compromise because such accuracy might cause confusion or offence?

I'm in the middle of writing Threepeat, the next book in the BDSM series Secrets, with Parker Williams. This will be the third novel, and as the title suggests, it's a ménage. So what caused the debate?

One word: douche.

When I originally wrote the chapter in question, I used the word 'enema', but changed it after one of my betas (who is A-British, and B- gay) suggested it was too clinical a term, and that British gay men used 'douche' more often. I had no problem with that. Anal douches are sold on Amazon in the UK, and that's how they are referred to.
Then the debate started.

Another beta pointed out that 'douche' in the US was used to refer to feminine hygiene, and they didn't want its use in the book to confuse readers, to in some way feminise the character, who has suffered at the hands of his family for not being 'man enough'.
What struck me most was the first point. Would US readers be confused? Offended?

I sought the opinion of an American gay friend, who assured me that American gay men used the term douching if they were being direct, and 'washing out' if they were being a little more delicate. He felt that enemas were more a colonic or therapeutic process in his mind.
Then he made a remark that stopped me. "But if the majority of your audience are women..."

Then what do I do? Use a word that gay men would use - or change/ remove it, because not doing so might offend the sensibilities of some readers? Accuracy - or Compromise?

Another beta didn't feel there would be any confusion, that readers had met the term before, and that the process didn't reflect on the character. Several betas felt that accuracy was the way to go - and there was that phrase: "Because you can never please everyone."

So often, I see a review where a reader complains that what they had just read didn't reflect reality. And yet on other occasions, when an author has provided that reality, they have been met with negativity.

See? We can't win. There really is no pleasing everyone.

Where do you stand on this?

To illustrate my point, the scene I was describing was a submissive's first experience of this procedure. Later, after he's had another first - anal sex - the following conversation takes place:

Tim chuckled. “If you must know, I was just remembering the noises I made in the bathroom earlier. I’m surprised you and Sam stayed.”
Aaron tugged him closer, and Tim slid into his warm embrace. “If you think a little farting is going to have us running for the hills, you’re wrong.” He chuckled against Tim’s ear, and it tickled. “And far be it from me to disillusion you, but you haven’t experienced sex until you’ve had to deal with lube farts.”

Now, my British gay beta's reaction to that?
"Love the lube farts .... very very true."
How the readers might react is another matter.

So I ask again - Where do you stand on this? Do you want reality - or not?