This particular title was easy, considering that it was almost a year ago since I last vomited my thoughts on the page.

Why has it been so long, you ask. Shit kept piling up, I've been living with antidepressants for over a decade now, had some surgery in October of 2016, and afterwards started desensitization for my allergies. On top of that I woke up with most of my long hair in my mouth, and finally got told that I suffer from major gaps in my breathing when asleep. A visit to a sleep clinic diagnosed 90 breaks per hour, needless to say shit needed changing. I got one of those sleep apnea masks/air flow thingies, and began to lose weight. The effort was increased when I learned a dear friend had died... presumably of too much weight and that coupled with apnea... you get the picture.

Now, with the mask breathing is much better, and thus sleep as well. I exercise, eat conscientiously, and count the notches on my belt go in reverse... I also read again, something that I could barely do during my sleep deprived months.

Those who follow me on facebook page already know that I have signed a publishing contract with Crossroad Press.

I'm currently reviewing Shattered Dreams, modifying and correcting stuff in order to bring it more in line with my vision.

Dreams was my first book, and it shows. In fact, the story has existed for decades. There even is a totally different version hidden on another hard drive. But when I began writing what would become Shattered Dreams in earnest, I had already been in behavior therapy for several months. Writing, and finishing, the novel was as much a creative as well as a self-healing process.

I had to prove to myself that I am no failure, that I can finish something I started without being consumed by uncertainty which basically was crippling me.

The first draft was done within 3 months. What followed was the typical process of waiting, reading, correcting and all that. In the end it was a total of 6 months, I think that I worked on the novel. Maybe more, it's been a while. And then I was done, it was done, and part of the program was for me to actually be able to let go of it... to declare it as finished and let it rest. The only other time I looked at it again was when my editor Kathy went over the changes/questions with me. Other than that I was finished.

It was symbolic, had to be symbolic, and I do apologize for the mistakes that still ambushed the prose. I know I should have read a proof, should have fixed what needed fixing, other than the obvious BadDobby I made in the initial run. (I was so engrossed in Shattered Bonds at the time Dreams was released that instead of writing "To be continued in Shattered Hopes" I wrote "Tbc in Shattered Bonds." Bad Dobby indeed. I maintained, that in order to not tarnish the accomplishment, this milestone in my therapy, I wouldn't touch Dreams.

I've maintained that long enough.

I'm currently reading Dreams for the first time in 5 years or more. Reading it with a pencil, tightening, tugging, cutting, replacing. Does this mean the story will change? Nope. There will not be any major alterations, it will be details. Think literary face lift. I learned a lot since finishing Dreams, and fleshed out my world. Think the subtle changes in the original Star Wars movies; nothing spectacular, just some terms brought up to snuff if you will.

This isn't your usual rant or piece of wisdom, but an update... it was needed.