For all of you out there in blog land that don’t know me yet, my name is Danielle Haas and I am a romance writer.

I have a confession to make, wait for it…I used to hate reading sex scenes. Okay, there, I said. I have it all out in the open now, and now I surely deserve a round of applause. Or, if you’re more inclined, perhaps a pat on the back or a nice little chuckle. But first, let me tell you why.

For as long as I can remember, I have loved reading romance novels. It’s actually always been a big joke in my family that I was named after Danielle Steele. It would seem as though a little manifest destiny has come true and I have found myself full circle after all these years. Now, I don’t love to just read romance, I love to write them.

You cannot tell me there’s anything better than picking up a book and becoming so engrossed in the plot that you lose track of all other areas of my life and concentrate solely on devouring the pages in front of you as quickly as possible. But for me there were so many times, that I would skim over the pesky sex scenes so I could find out what happened next. Cue the eye rolling.

I never considered myself missing out on important elements of the story. It worked for me…until of course I started writing my own books. In my first manuscript, which is a second chance romance, the two main characters come together after a decade and realize their love for each other never ended. I decided, since it’s a romance, it needed a sex scene. Naturally.

So, I wrote a brief two paragraphs that described how their souls become one and their love was rekindled.

Wait…what? A brief two paragraphs? Sounds core tingly and hot, huh?

Okay, so even now writing a steamy, lip biting love scene isn’t something I strive for. But, I do strive to write stories about relatable characters in somewhat real-life situations. It’s not very relatable for two people to FINALLY get back together only for it to culminate in a brief…two…paragraphs. (At least I hope not!)

I’ll admit, I thought those two paragraphs were pretty nicely done. I mean, I even used the word ‘nipple’. And blushed seven shades to sunday for doing so! Come on, my mom was going to read this! Hell, my father-in-law would read this! How was it possible to write anything more risqué than ‘nipple’?

Here comes the fun part.  After much explaining on my part, to my mother I might add, she volunteered to read this ‘saucy scene’. I will never in my entire life forget what she said to me.  After she finished she turned, looked me in the eye and declared, “this is one shade of lavender.”

What?! That’s it? LAVANDER! I mean come on. I used the word nipple!

I read through it a few more times. Then I read other books. After which I read my critique partner’s work, and figured out my mom was right. I’d written an utterly lavender cop out. I’d taken the culmination of twelve years of pent up sexual tension and threw some words on a page. I didn’t commit. I did not give my characters what they deserved. I didn’t give my readers what they were owed. How to fix it was another story entirely.

Enter my incredible critique partner. Sometimes in life, we all need someone to push us outside of our comfort zones. This is what Samantha does for me. She writes incredible, sexy, fast-paced romantic suspense. At the time, I couldn’t fathom writing something so outside of my realm. She doesn’t let the crippling ‘what others might think’ mantra infect her writing. Samantha does what needs to be done on the page.

Without her help I couldn’t have showed the readers a little more of what was happening in my ‘sexy scene’. She pointed out that by adding a line here and there, I would be giving my characters their happy ending. Isn’t that what romance novels are all about?

At this point in my writing, I’ve stopped listening to those little voices of doubt that make the prude in me blush with mortification. I don’t think about who might read this one day or what they might think about certain words I choose to use. I write what the characters need me to write to tell the most complete story I can.

Let’s be honest, I might have moved past one shade of lavender but I’ll never move to bright firecracker red. I can add a few sprinkles of excitement to my delicious vanilla sundae, but hot fudge will never be the flavor of the day…unless it’s used as a prop.