Eight weeks after the first day of the second new year

Eight weeks after the first day of the second new year
Author knew she would want to write another post that’s related to last week’s, but she had thought she would do so later, there was a different post she had planned for this week. But Sister kept bringing it up. It bothered her, what was not yet written, connotations brought up by last week’s post that she’s encountered too frequently in the world of social media, frustrations raised by writers. And so Author decided to write this post now. And just a word before Author begins: in that previous post she spoke to writers, but this one is easily applicable to anyone who has or is planning to start a startup, regardless of the type of creativity and product involved.
So. You’ve made a decision to become a writer, and have understood that you have a defined, practical place in the working world, that you need to see what you do as what it is, a startup, a business, and treat it accordingly. But you’re not alone, you have people around you, family and friends, and others in your wider circle of contacts who are certain to react, to have something to say about what you’re doing. You will also need to deal with them, with everyone whose opinion matters to you and who ask you what you do and then frown when you tell them, when you say that you’ve chosen to take a path that diverges from theirs.
Inevitably, there will be those who will question the choice you’ve made. That’s not surprising. You’ve decided to go in a different direction than most people, and that’s not always easy for those who haven’t made such a choice to accept, let alone understand. Which could lead to disheartening reactions by them, some that indicate sincere worry about you, and others, painful ones, that make you realize they don’t believe in what you do and in your ability to do it, or don’t want you to take the path you have because it they feel it interferes with their own plans, their own lives, their own comfort, or simply because it doesn’t fit in with their view of how things should be done.
Before you respond to them, ask yourself this: what would you say if you were in their place, if a family member or a friend would have told you they’ve decided to start a startup, whether it involves writing or any other type of venture? Would you support them? If the answer is no, then you need to ask yourself why, and if it might be possible that in such a case you would be doing to them what they’re now doing to you. This would help you understand their reactions, and to better know how to deal with them. And if the answer is yes, then see if your own reasoning for why you would support them can help you get them to support you.
See if your family and friends are worried about your prospects, perhaps. About your ability to make a living. That makes sense. Startups take time to produce income, and sometimes they don’t, some new ventures do fail. Author assumes that you’re a responsible person, that you’ve considered your steps, such as making sure you have something to live on for a while, some money you’ve put away. Or that you have another source of income, such as from a part time job perhaps (although Author has spoken in last week’s post of startup founders who’re doing what they do full time). That you have a plan for what you intend to do, one that includes clear goals, how you intend to get to them, and within what time framework. A preliminary plan, granted, it is bound to change, improve, as you gain experience and learn more about the work you do—such as what you can do immediately and what you still need to learn, the length of time you require for certain tasks and the types of delays you might encounter—but if you take that into account, then that’s fine. And Author also suggests that you should have a fallback plan, something to turn to if you don’t succeed the first time and need to perhaps take a break from your start up, reassess and regroup so that you can do better next time.
With all of this, all of the thought you’ve put into what you’re going to do, how about you sit down with those whose confidence and emotional support you want, and tell them about what you intend to do in practical terms. The actual grounded steps beyond the dream. You don’t need to know everything, no one does. But you need to know that you don’t know everything, you need to be willing to accept flexibility, to be able to recalibrate your plan as you go along, and you can show them that, your sober view of the path you’ve chosen to take. And if their skepticism remains, and you keep hearing the question, “What if you fail?”, then answer them this: “What if I succeed?”, and then remind them that success can only be achieved by trying.
And you yourself should remember that ultimately your success will be determined by one type of feedback only: that of the people who buy your products, or, in the case of the writers among you, your readers. And what’s the alternative, never to try? Live the life of others instead of your own and spend years regretting it, regretting that you haven’t even tried just because someone doubted you? As you face the people in your life, never forget that there’s a reason you’re doing this. The fact is that you want different things than the people you’ve lived among all your life do. They’ve decided on what they will do with their life, the kind of job they will have, the place it will have in the years to come. You’ve decided differently, for whatever reason: because you want to create your own path, because you want a different kind of freedom and are willing to face the challenges it brings with it. Because something inside you is screaming that you don’t belong, that something else is better for you, that you will be happy doing only that, and so what if it’s different than what everybody else does. Just because they all chose a certain path, that doesn’t mean it’s the right one for you, and it doesn’t mean that the one you’ve chosen is wrong. And remember that you’re not alone, far from it. There are many who choose to create in their own way. So accept what you want, and do it. Regardless of doubts—others’ as well as your own—if this is important to you, do what you need to do. Fear and doubt shouldn’t stop you from doing what you love to do. Confidence, your own confidence in yourself, which is what matters most, will come from doing.
And just one more thing, and this will be Author and Sister’s tip for this week: there will always be those who support you, and those who don’t. If this is what you want to do, if this is the life you want, then believe in yourself, and go for it. Those to whom you matter will understand, join you along the way, and be there when you need them.