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I Google family found and lost. The ones on my biological father’s side. Uninterested in reunion, communication, excess.

Examining familiar faces, posted on social media, wondering what it’s like to erase a sister, bad seed, father’s whorish mistake. That’s what they said.

Too fat, they said that too. Particular, rigid people raised in servitude to a father who served a government willing to lose him. Ill-fitting, outside.

Missing pieces defining years of search. Spit on by stragglers. Found, un-found, inconsequential, invisible, forgotten.

Pretending not to care. Half-strangers, half-bloods, half-broods, I lie. Wonder at similarities, stitched in skin.

Remnants unraveled in bits and pieces of internet babble. Remnants coursing veins denied. Remnants stalled in binary reality. Not mine. Yet mine.

Bye-bye biological brotherhood. Until someday,

a sunrise, or never.

———–

Blessings to know your roots,

V.L. Brunskill

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