What is beneath your Smile? – Pain and Healing
Everyone has heard of pain and healing and we may all roll our eyes at that sometimes. When we are faced with situations, that leave us literally on the pavement, healing seems unattainable. That’s how I felt at one point and still struggle with mildly. I suffer from Multiple Sclerosis and dealing with a chronic illness touches many assets of your life.
Between relationships, friendships, self esteem, self worth, you name it! When you go from being completely mobile, to a doctor telling you at age 19 that you have a debilitating illness is heart shattering. I didn’t know what to do or how to feel. One thing I can truly say has helped me is my spirituality and relying on my faith to strengthen me. By doing that, I was able to see the beauty within my cracks.
Although each day can be a fighting struggle, you also deal with the outside world not quite understanding how you feel, can’t you agree? No one seems to want to care, looks at you different or just ridicules you. Being young, many think I can spring up and conquer the world! But every single day I am in pain whether I want to admit it or not.
Pain is something we can feel internally and externally; I have to say internally is the most painful. Then healing comes into the picture, trying to become your friend and you don’t know how to keep it there. You start doubting if you’re capable of even making adjustments, being a positive person or genuinely being able to smile.
Well, let me just say it’s possible! I’ve never received so many comments about how much I’ve been radiating lately. It requires time, work and persistence. Am I saying this is easy? Absolutely not! I would be a fool to say you won’t have your bad days. However, I can say that keeping a routine and looking for ways to satisfy that emptiness helps me. Although I have limitations, I know that I can still enjoy life at my OWN pace.
I have created a platform for myself explaining how I dealt with my pain and healing. I thoroughly enjoy writing and poetry and even publish my own collection of poetry “Table for One” which is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble online. It is possible to enjoy doing what you love and making small milestones. I’ve learn to do things within reason so that I don’t inflict more pain in my life. Healing is a full-time job and will NEVER stop but you will feel your skin become tighter and tougher.
Never give up on your healing because there are so many gems and beaming light waiting to be seen. So much awareness is being given to those suffering from special needs, chronic illness, mental health and more. We aren’t alone and with the right support we can push through our battles.
Be sure to follow me on social media : @speakunspokenly and my YouTube channel “Unspoken Beyoutee”. Also take a look at a new project I’ve been working with on YouTube and FaceBook called “The Polka Dot Project”! Here are the links:
