Welcome to the first stop on the #FLOOREDNOVEL book blogger tour! To celebrate the launch of Floored, seven bloggers have collided to present collaborative creative works over a period of seven days. To follow the tour, just follow the links attached to the bottom of every post to read/view the next piece on another blog

[image error]

Rosie

I realised I was staring at the arse of the guy in front of me roughly seven seconds before he did, but that’s all the time I needed for several thoughts to run through my mind.

How do I play this one? Do I act cool and act like he didn’t bother me in the slightest? Not a chance. I couldn’t pull that off. Sweat was already forming on my neck and my face felt like it was on the sun. I also felt the sweat patches under my arms growing by the minute.

Ah, shit.

Then I realised I wasn’t just staring at him, he was also staring at me. So I smiled, and kept smiling. I didn’t look away like any normal person would.

Surely I was way past the appropriate time I could smile at someone for without being perceived as a massive weirdo. Or worse. He might think I was creepy pervert. I’m not even sure how true that statement was because, yes, I was perving on him if truth be told.

I must have looked menacing as I was still smiling at him.

And he was still smiling at me.

God, this was becoming awkward.

I suddenly had a thought that this could be my Cinderella moment. That he had finally seen the real me underneath all my weight, my pimpled face, and my sort-of-monobrow that I was constantly stuck with, as my mum thought me too young to be plucking my eyebrows.

Then I snapped back into the real world. He wasn’t about to ask me to the ball, he was only smiling at me because he was waiting for my order. I, however, being the dork I was, was just standing there, smiling like a lovestruck idiot.

I heard annoyed murmurs behind me in the gelato stand queue. I couldn’t blame the angry queue really. I was taking a long time to order. I was too busy planning my own happily ever after with the cute gelato guy. I was happily planning our gelato style wedding, our gelato shaped house, and our children who stood in a row of four wearing gelato aprons.

I knew what the queue was probably thinking. Why was the fat girl taking so long to order? Surely she must come here all the time?

‘So, um… what can I get you?’ the gelato guy asked politely, trying to hurry me to order before a fight broke out in the impatient queue.

I broke out of my stupor and plastered an even bigger smile on my face. My hands were shaking at this point and I swear sweat was gliding down my face, and it wasn’t because of the hot day.

‘Strawberry, please,’ I squeaked out and cursed at myself for sounding so small.

‘Sorry?’ he asked.

I obviously said it so quietly that he didn’t hear my order.

‘Strawberry,’ I replied, in what could only be described as a deep masculine voice to make myself sound more confident, but it only made me sound more like a guy.

And of course, when the horrible and deep voice erupted, the queue behind me had gone quiet for a few seconds.

The boy raised his eyebrows and looked a little stunned by my fierce response.

I sighed.

What was I even doing in the queue? I didn’t even like gelato.

I looked over at my group of friends, who were waiting next to the shopping mall’s elephant fountain, and saw them all watching me with great interest.

Oh, great.

Poppy ushered me on with her hands in a you-got-this motion and Abbie was doing the same. Peter was just smirking at Tabitha as she was sticking her hot dog in and out of her mouth purposefully in my direction. It was her own weird and crude way of egging me on.

It didn’t fill me with much confidence. In fact it only drew my attention to his penis.

Thanks Tabitha. I thought.

Just the thought of his…you know…made my mouth dry.

The gelato guy had turned his back on me again, to fill up a gelato cup.

I realised I was staring at his arse again and cursed myself for objectifying him so much. But it was as if my hormones didn’t care.

‘One strawberry cup,’ the boy turned back around, placing the single cup on the stand. He then started to tap away at a screen in front of him. ‘That’ll be three fifty, please,’ he smiled, and I couldn’t help but melt on the spot.

My hands shook as I went to fish out my change.

God, I was so pathetic.

I grabbed a handful of twenty pence pieces I had saved from my hard earned tips, from working in my local cafeteria on weekends. I began to count out the change.

That was the moment two kids chose to ram into my back as they went past screaming and hollering at one another, pushing me forwards.

My handful of change went up in the air and the coins spurted everywhere in a free-for-all motion, and to my utter horror, my other hand landed straight in the cup of strawberry gelato.

However, that was not the end of my embarrassing display.

My hand not only landed in the gelato, but it also slipped and my body fell forwards. I hit the floor, and with my weight, I also took down the cute gelato guy too.

I landed on top of him, squishing him beneath me. In any other situation I would have much enjoyed our bodies this close together, but certainly not like this.

I brought a hand to my face in shock and felt a tear.

Oh, sweet lord. Now I was bloody crying.

I was so far past being embarrassed that I was actually crying hot tears.

So I ran.

I bolted from the scene with one hand dripping with strawberry gelato and one hand pulling at Tabitha’s jacket as I sprinted past my group of friends like the Flash. I didn’t miss them gaping after me though.

After they had caught me up, which didn’t take long considering how unfit I was, they found me outside Superdrug, clutching my knees and wheezing.

Tabitha was first to put an arm around me. ‘I know I told you to jump him, but I didn’t realise you’d take my advice literally,’ she joked, trying her hardest to make me smile.

Peter stood a few feet away with Poppy and Abbie, and I didn’t miss their pitying looks.

Abbie, always the suck up, proceeded to say, ‘don’t worry, Rosie. I‘m sure he’s just as embarrassed. He probably really likes you too.’

‘Yeah,’ Peter agreed, always the lovesick teenager, lusting over Abbie. He had always had a thing for blondes.

‘First thing’s first,’ Poppy started, ‘we just need you to be able to say more than two words to him next time.’

‘Next time?!’ I spurted out.

‘Oh, please. If cute gelato guy came over and stuck his tongue down her throat, Rosie still wouldn’t be able to say thank you afterward,’ Tabitha said and kissed my cheek to soften the blow.

Poppy looked horrified. ‘I hope he wouldn’t stick his tongue down her throat without Rosie’s consent first!’

I sighed.

It was true.

I wouldn’t be able to speak to him. Tabitha was right.

I was what they called

hopeless.

Thank you so much for reading the first piece of the Floored book blogger tour. To follow the tour, just click the link below. The next collaborative piece will be posted on Tuesday 10th July.

Follow the tour here!

[image error]

To follow My Kinda Book on twitter for all the exciting updates on Floored, just click the link. If you wish to pre-order the book, Click here.