I haven’t worked on anything book related in over two months. Other than the long break I took in 2016, this is the longest I’ve gone without writing something for fun since I started. The plan for this summer had been to finish my female-led story and pitch it at ThrillerFest, where I would hopefully connect with an agent who thought the story was awesome.

Instead, I got divorced. Life came to a complete stop, and I found that even in the rare quiet moments I had to myself between crying jags and moving, I couldn’t write. I’d look at the substantial stack of edits on my work-in-progress and feel nothing. No inspiration, no interest, just static.

Oh, I also held a baby alligator. No big deal. (Yes, it was. It was a big deal.)

It was okay, though, because I personally can’t create something from nothing and I had a whole lot of nothing to give. I was exhausted in every possible way, but I knew it wouldn’t last forever. Every storm eventually passes, and I knew that if I was patient with myself this one would blow over as well.

So I bided my time. I read books, I took naps, I had fun with friends, I watched TV. I didn’t think about my writing much, if at all, and I tried not to feel too jealous when my writer friends posted amazing pictures of ThrillerFest online.

And then it happened: I felt the tiniest little niggling urge to write. It started with talking to my friend about the tiny northeastern Washington town I based my character’s hometown on. My friend suggested we go visit it in person, and just like that I wanted to write again. I wanted to explore tiny far-flung places and mine them for inspiration. I wanted to revisit my characters and fix my structural issues.

More than my apartment (which I love) and rediscovered ability to smile and laugh easily, I think my renewed desire to write is the best indicator that this storm is well and truly clearing out. I’m so glad. So grateful for my friends who pulled me through it, so glad my ex and I are making this as easy on each other as we can, and so relieved that I want to write again.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: It turns out that if you have the right friends, you can get through just about anything.