You like my stories right? Chet isn’t in this one.

Since we’ve been having power issues, a nice lady in Montana bought us a generator. She ordered it online through Home Depot to be picked up at our local Brownwood, Tx store. We were informed that they did not have it in stock and it would take a week or more to get it. I knew this was going to be a disaster. Just knew it. Home Depot is a disappointment mill. The generator she ordered is the Ryobi 3,600 watt model. Great reviews. So we get a message on Wednesday that the unit is at the store in Brownwood.

I can’t go because I’m expecting company, so Danielle and Sarah go to pick it up (I might get to the sexism part of this story in a follow-up.) It’s a 30-45 minute drive. Each way. They go and when they get there, they discover they can’t lift the unit. It’s too heavy. The store sends some clerks to go put it in the car. It won’t fit in the trunk (but would have fit perfectly in the back seat,) but as they are lifting it one of the guys lifts it by the straps and it drops.

THEY DROPPED THE GENERATOR.

May not have mattered, since the box was already shredded. They end up unboxing it since according to my daugher, “the box was in bad shape before they tried to load it, then they dropped it.”

So, Danielle gets it home. I follow the instructions. Add oil, gas, etc. Try to pull start it and it sounds like straight metal on metal. Really bad. You never want to hear that. I hope maybe it’s just that the oil hasn’t gotten around to all the parts yet, so I let it sit and move it around a little. A half hour later I try to pull start it – same metal on metal shriek, but this time it starts and makes a hell of a racket. Black smoke. I stop it immediately and load it back in the car. Danielle can’t get to town on Thursday because she has to work.

Again, I can’t go to town because today is the day I bake bread for the Farmer’s Market tomorrow. So, Danielle takes the generator in to Home Depot today. First story: They don’t know if Ryobi can get any more and it may be discontinued. * But, it’s still on their online store… right now* Can’t tell us how long it will be (they don’t even try to contact Ryobi.) They say, “Maybe YOU can contact them and find out.” Like it’s our job. Then they scare Danielle by telling her that since it was a debit card, they’d have to have the debit card in hand to do a credit or a swap. So this is their first gambit. Basically, NOTHING CAN BE DONE.

(Remember, we bought the three year extended warranty.)

The debit card is IN MONTANA, like we told you. Then they offer the Briggs and Stratton 3,500 watt since they have it in stock. Not even close to the quality. Classic bait and switch. My wife is in tears. We’re on the phone. I say “No, I want the Ryobi. We got the extended warranty, just tell them to fix it.” Now the manager says “We’ll have a tech look at it to see if he can fix it. It’ll be a warrantied repair.” He goes and whispers to the tech. Tech looks at it. “Can’t be fixed” he says after 1 minute. So they’re back pushing the Briggs an Stratton on us, even though there are Ryobi models in nearby stores. Or there were a few days ago. They don’t even try.

So, Danielle, worn down, finally gives in to the scam and agrees to the B&S. (I don’t believe they would have pulled this with a man.) They say, “Sorry, the Montana lady used a debit card. We have to charge back the old one, and then recharge the new one.” Their whole vibe is “this is your problem, not ours.”

Ahh, too bad, she’s at the doctor, you’ll have to wait an hour until we can get hold of her and get her debit card to do the new charge (acting like it will be solved that easily.) Danielle spends an hour in town waiting. They finally get hold of her. “Sorry, we can’t complete the transaction yet because our refund hasn’t reached her card. It’ll be Monday before we can finish the transaction.” Go away. We’ll half-ass this later. We have to wait to Monday to get a sub-par generator with lower wattage and worse reviews. They never even talked to Ryobi and never called any nearby stores to try to make it right. They really don’t even care. Oh, but I got an autobot robotweet from their Twitter account asking me to dial into their 1-800 disappointment sweat shop, probably in India, where I’m absolutely positive someone is going to say “What can I do to make this right?”

This is why Amazon is winning.

Michael Bunker