To get some kind of order to my workload, I compiled a list of my work in progress, and other live stuff awaiting responses. Here it is:

All Roads Lead to Hell (crime thriller) – Awaiting other stuff*

Broken (psychological thriller) – Submission

Dwimmerfall (epic fantasy) – First 3 parts done, need to do 4th

Border Guards trilogy (urban fantasy, or maybe contemporary fantasy):

The Border Guard – Undergoing agent submission

The Song Between Worlds – Early draft done

The Demon’s Prison –  Early draft done

Ghost Bullets series (urban fantasy):

The Ghost Gun – Need to review

The Redacted Man – Early draft done

The Abyssal Box – In progress

Fictionaut (sf) – Awaiting other stuff

The Entropy of Ideas (fantasy) – Awaiting other stuff

Mirrorman (urban fantasy) – Needs fixing or abandoning

Piracy by Any Means (steampunk) – Accepted to anthology pending edits

The Auction (fantasy) – No idea what to do with it

The Brains of the Operation (fantasy) – Submitted to anthology

The Runaway God (fantasy) – Submitted to anthology

The Sacrifice (urban fantasy) – In progress

The Tax Collector (fantasy) – Submitted to anthology

Time Bastards (sf) – Entered in competition

*Other Stuff in question generally being a clue as to what I’m doing with my career.

Mostly I’m holding off to see whether I can find an agent, and down to waiting on one rejection from the last batch of agents I submitted to. I’m wondering whether I’ve been too picky, looking for something in their interviews or twitter feeds that implies compatibility. Also, the number in the genres I write in limit my choices. It’s going on a year since I started submitting, which I know isn’t that long for the glacial speeds of traditional publishing, but it does drag on.

I suppose I should just accept it’s my work that isn’t right, and move on. In which case, do I return to self-publishing? This was the first thing in years that’s a valid wordcount for traditional markets, and I was kind of happy with the state of it (prior to the rejections – now I’m reluctant to look at it).

The main reason I want an agent is for someone to tell me what I’m doing wrong (in a directed, useful way, rather than just soliciting random twitter opinions). I’ve paid for edits a few times, but after a few follow up questions (which anxieties make hard for me) I’m never sure I’ve fixed the problems, and second edits aren’t something I can afford (I can’t afford many first edits, and none have yet earned out).

While I’m relatively happy with the central idea of the Ghost Bullets series, there’s something niggling me about the current drafts of the stories, and I just can’t decide what’s wrong with them. I’ll start the first draft of the third book soon though, because I’m not sure what else to do.

It feels like I’ve been spinning my wheels a lot during the trying to be traditionally published exercise. I’ve produced some stuff, but not as much as I think I could have if I knew where I was going.

So I guess the immediate future is waiting for the final agent rejection, then deciding if it’ll be the final agent rejection; finish the outline of The Abyssal Box, by which time I should hopefully have the enthusiasm built up enough to push me through the first draft; do the edits to Piracy by Any Means when they come through (I’ve actually had something accepted, and I’m still doubting I read that right – it feels unnatural for it not to be a rejection, and not the natural way of things); and The Sacrifice seems to keep changing on me, so that I doubt it’ll work for the anthology it was intended for, but it still feels worth tinkering with.

There’s also a short story idea that won’t leave me alone, so I’m making notes on that as it comes to me and hoping it’ll be no more than a niggle until I have some free time (or at least freer time).

It does kind of feel like I’m a hamster in a wheel though, fooling myself I’m moving forward without going anywhere, being ignored by the outside world until I die of dehydration or starvation. Hope you’re having a good day.