Mea Culpa

Dear friends, 
I've let at least one of you down, and I want to apologize. I'm hoping this blog post will reach you, and any other readers who might feel the same way. It takes guts to tell me how you feel, and I don't want you to think your concerns are unnoticed. So, whoever you are, thank you for bringing this up in your amazon review. You said: 
One of the things I love about your writing is that it doesn't create an artificially perfect heroine or hero with a few flaws, but rather you create a whole character with many complex facets who might not make the choices that you or I would - you even stated as much in your blog post. I realized this is one of the reasons why you write such good characters because you allow them their freedom to be who they are the good and bad. So I understand your reasoning for having Kasper Stark and Joseph make the immoral choice they did - their backgrounds alone made it understandable. However, I find myself disappointed because of that part in the book. I was hoping that when all odds and maybe other characters were making wrong choices that the main characters I grew to love would change and/or make the moral choice. I was rooting for the change in Joseph and the better choice from Kasper. 
Picture First, may I say that I'm thrilled and flattered that you care about Klara and Josef enough to be bothered by their choices? If they are real enough to root for, I feel like I'm succeeding as a writer. 
Now, about moral choices. We all make them. We all have a standard of things we will and won't do. If I was writing a story about myself, I would write a book about a girl who's a committed Christian, who makes mistakes, but who tries to make the world around her better because it is the right thing to do, and her duty to a loving God. This girl has an unfortunate habit of profanity, and she isn't always as patient as she should be to her family or herself. This girl married young, because both she and her husband wanted to honor God by not having sex outside marriage. 
There could be a story about this girl, but if I've attempted to write it at all, it lives in the shadows of Laura and Jasper in Courting Scandal, and very attenuated shadows they are! 
This girl is not Klara Stark. 
When I began imagining The Dark Before Dawn, the setting was always Babylon. Not everyone will see the Congress of Vienna that way, but that is how it appears to me--glittering, gaudy, rotten with self-interest and deceit. None of the people that live in this place that I dream of measure the world like I do. Their experiences are different. And thank goodness! I never want to blackmail someone in a crypt and get stabbed. 
I am not as emotionally vulnerable as Klara or as bitter as Josef. I think, like you, they are capable of being better than what they are. But they are living in Babylon, and I don't think they even know it yet. 
Will they? Well, I don't want to drop any spoilers. This is a three book series, so whatever happens will take some time. Their world is full of choices, some I'd make and some I wouldn't. Not everyone believes in Babylon or wants to leave it behind. Elijah is fascinating to me, but so is Jezebel. I'd love to hear her side of the story. 
That said, you expect things from me. I'm glad you do, because it means I did other things you liked. If you haven't fallen under the spell of this story like I have, please wait. This series has, and may continue to disappoint you, but Babylon isn't the only place I dream about. I have another book in the works, Scalpel's Edge, with a heroine whose yardstick looks more like my own. 
For me, there are days to read Fifth Business and days to read A Man For All Seasons, but some will prefer one or the other.  And if all the religious imagery underpinning my stories is a surprise, (as I'm sure to some readers it is) I will confess here that I can't help it. I've been steeped it in all my life, and whatever you believe, the King James Bible is beautiful writing. I think it's where I fell in love with words. 
As ever, wishing you lots of happy reading,  Picture
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Published on September 12, 2018 08:36
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message 1: by Celeste (new)

Celeste Jaima, you know I am one of your greatest fans. I've read all of your books and think they are perfection, including The Dark Before Dawn. You have created a wide range of characters, all of whom have faults because, after all, they are human. They also act foolishly at times, because... well, see the previous sentence. And they also have their own reasons for doing the things they do. None of us are surrounded solely by those who have never sinned, never made a mistake, never acted impulsively, because those people don't exist. Characters in books should reflect the human condition, not exclusively be paragons of propriety 24/7. Klara never imagined being in love or being loved. She basically lead a solitary life, and never imagined anyone like Josef being a part of it. I think your story would not have been as believable, given the atmosphere of the city, Klara's loneliness, Josef's larger than life persona, their passion, and the life and death situations they faced, if the couple had not succumbed to their passion. Considering Klara's unconventional upbringing, and the fact that she was living a lie every day of her life that could bring dire consequences if revealed, I don't think she considered loving Josef as wrong, but only as dangerous as every other thing she did in her life. Perfectly human, perfectly Klara, perfectly perfect. It's thoughtful of you to apologize to one of your dear readers, but in my humble opinion it wasn't necessary. You brought complex characters to life for all of us to enjoy, and the fact that you let them lead lives that you yourself would never live isn't something you should apologize for. It's called creativity! And let's remember that even the Holy Bible is full of treachery, theft, adultery, fornication, murder, etc... so should we skip the Good Book, as well? I think not.


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