Last week I got a message on Instagram from a follower asking me if I am on a dating site.  And not because he wanted to date me.  But, because he saw an account on a dating site that was using my photo.  Instantly, I felt both really vulnerable and really pissed that someone would pretend to be me.  If you want my life, it comes with all the laundry, bills and the stress and worry of raising four teenagers.  Not to mention all of the rejection from agents and publishers I've sent the manuscript of my novel to.  You get all of it, it's a package deal.  And it's not all as fun as it looks from the outside.

My informant sends me a link to the fake profile so I can check it out for myself.  But, while I can see that the site is Fling.com (oh, so it's a hook-up site and not a dating site; this is even worse than I thought), I can't get the link to work.  But, I'm dying to know why someone would steal my photo and which photo they stole exactly.  I mean in a sea of readily accessible photos on-line to steal....why mine?

Then, my informant sends me the stolen photo.  And I'm horrified.  Completely, utterly horrified.  It is the worst photo of me ever.  I took it about six years ago back when I took photos with an actual camera and not my phone. Blindly flipping the camera around, pointing it in the direction of my face and hoping for the best. I used the photo to accompany a funny blog post I wrote.  (First rule of blogging: have an image that accompanies your words.)  The key here is funny.  The picture was intended to be humorous.  Which is why I look like Tina Fey on drugs in the photo.  BECAUSE IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY!  But, taken out of context, it just looks trashy.  And not even good trashy.  Who the hell would choose this to be their profile photo?  How low are your standards exactly?  And what was the catfish trying to convey by using it?  I'm the bookish sort, but I'm prone to falling asleep when I'm reading in bed?   And really?  This is why I don't try to straighten my hair anymore.  1.  I'm not good at it.  2.  It doesn't look good on me.

In order to use the link my informant has sent to me I'd need to sign up for Fling.com, which I absolutely, flat out refuse to do.  Even to create an account for the sole purpose of viewing the profile of the catfish and then immediately delete it.  So, I ask him to screen shot me the catfish's profile before he reports the user and deletes his account, which is what he went on-line to do when he saw my photo. Anyway, without further adieu, here's the fake profile.
Hotstuff?  Really?  More like room temperature left overs if you ask me.  But, funny?  My catfish thinks I'm funny!  Maybe she/he really does get me.  But seriously, if you're going to steal my photo, choose a better one.  But, better yet....DON'T steal my photos at all.