“Relationships: If you put up with it, you’re going to end up with it. Set the standard you want and don’t settle for less” ~ Steve Maraboli

Having the ability to hold someone down doesn’t necessarily mean doing so financially or physically. The best ways to hold that special person down are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s the type of anchor you want to be first and foremost, especially if you are looking to build a strong, loving relationship. Then…..the other stuff will follow as applicable. What typically happens when the foundation of any relationship is a financial one? Unless it is strictly a business arrangement of sorts, relationships can’t survive on financial grounds alone. Well, maybe if that is the agreement coming in and that is all that the relationship is intended to be on…a financial basis, then possibly it might just work. As we know, as it pertains to relationships, people tend to get emotional ties when involved in relationships and this will even happen when the relationship starts off intending to be on a financial and/or physical basis. Do “friends with benefits” relationships really work? That’s another story for another day, but I will say this. Friends with benefits is a sort of relationship that is based upon the physical and in some cases the financial, so in order for this type of relationship to work out all parties involved must be upfront and honest about what it is that all parties seek from the relationship. If this doesn’t happen, someone will more than likely get hurt if the feelings and/or intentions change.

Now back to the matter at hand…being an anchor. To anchor can be defined as to provide with a firm basis or foundation. In order for relationships to last and grow stronger the basis or foundation must be strong and able to withstand adversity and issues that come within relationships. People often get caught up in trying to please a person physically while in a relationship and will often neglect the glue that hold relationships together, such as mental and emotional connections along with spiritual connections as well. What happens when you grow older? What happens when a person gains weight from stress, pregnancy, or health changes? What happens during disagreements? What happens where things may become a little dull? How do you spice up a relationship? How do you recover from bad arguments? Physical connections alone may not be enough to answer such questions. In my opinion a strong base or foundation in a relationship comes from connections that involve mind, body, and soul with mind and soul helping solidify that relationship. So…how can you be an anchor in a relationship? Mentally…if you look at many surveys it will tell you that people believe mental is more important than physical. Why? Because once you connect with someone mentally you can cause sparks to fly simply through conversation which will lead to the physical heating up. A mental connection helps you better understand a person’s real needs, which ties into the emotional connection. How do you make your significant other happy? How do you make him/her smile? How do you resolve differences without the whole relationship breaking down? That emotional connection helps you understand the Love Languages. Read that book by the way….The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. It’s a great book that talks about what love languages are and how to understand other people’s love language in relationship to you own. And lastly…you have a spiritual connection. This helps you understand a person’s spiritual beliefs and it will bring you closer together. A true spiritual connection tends to go beyond sharing of superficial values such as interests, hobbies, religion, political views, education, etc. It tends to be deeper matters such as core values, principles, and ways that you view life. Spiritual connections bring you closer and lead you to be more comfortable with each other. A mental, emotional, and spiritual connection helps make the physical connection more powerful. With those connections it is easier to be one another’s anchors.

By: H. M. Trey, Peace in the Storm Author