I deliberated long and hard before eventually deciding to take the bull by the horns and attend my first ever literary conference this year. My reluctance was mainly due to the fact that I don’t tend to do very well in large groups, or when faced with new situations, or when meeting new people. I appreciate that everybody finds these things difficult but I, however, at certain times have found them almost impossible. I guess that’s one of the reasons why as a child books became such a huge part of my life, and why they still hold such importance now, because without them I’m sure I would have had quite a miserable existence. You see, once I discovered books it didn’t hurt as much when I struggled to make friends because all the friends I could ever possibly need were sitting right there on my bookshelf. Then when I began to write, it was like finding my very own custom-made Holy Grail. Here was this incredible outlet and I could finally express myself in ways that were so tough for me in other areas; in my stories I provided the perfect retort - banishing the bullies, sending them off with their tails between their legs, and instead of the rambling nonsense uttered to my secret high school crush, I impressed her with my sparkling repartee.

As I matured I devised techniques to combat my social gracelessness, for wont of a better phrase - I don’t like the word shy. I became a teacher and bagged myself a beautiful wife (I'm still amazed that I managed to pull that one off) however, I would be lying if I told you my lack of confidence hadn’t stopped me from making certain decisions over the years, which is precisely why I was determined not to let this decision be one of those occasions.

I was going to Ellcon come hell or high water!

Hell arrived a week before the conference when I came off my bike twisting my ankle and suffering a nasty case of road rash, and the high water appeared on the morning we were due to leave for Bristol when I woke up to discover the roof leaking after a night of torrential rain.

These occurrences seriously tested my bravado; were they signs from a higher being that I should stay home?

Not according to my wife who told me to not be daft, or words to that effect. And thank heavens I listened to her because otherwise I would have missed out on a wonderful experience.

The Ellcon lesfic book festival was played out over the course of one and a half days in Bristol U.K. A whole host of authors, some of whom I’d read exhaustively and others who were new to me, took part in a series of panels and workshops. Everyone who (bravely) participated was incredibly generous in sharing both their experiences and knowledge on several topics, ranging from finding inspiration and combating writer's block, to whether reading makes for better writing.

The conference kicked off with a panel examining cover design, which I'd dreamt about the night before. Having received a few negative comments concerning my covers from certain quarters my subconscious decided to have a little fun at my expense. I dreamt that a copy of my novel ‘A Game to Love’ was held high in the air as an example of what not to do when designing a book cover. Have you seen the film Inner Space starring Martin Short and Dennis Quaid? Well, there’s a scene where Martin Short is working at a supermarket checkout and he has this recurring dream about serving a woman with bright orange hair - my dream was like that in ambience only more surreal and terrifying. I woke up in a cold sweat and even the thought of arriving a little late crossed my mind… you know just in case. Again, my security blanket, a.k.a the wife, told me in her indomitable and loving manner that I was crazy. We made it to the venue right on time and nervously taking a seat I waited with baited breath. Mercifully my dream did not come true although to be fair after listening to the panel I had to concede that ‘A Game to Love’ probably could have been used in the capacity as a warning of what not to do!

Hopefully though, by following the stellar advice given by an esteemed panel, which included May Dawney and Miranda Mcleod, my subsequent covers will be vastly improved.

And that right there is the crux for my presence at Ellcon; I went because more than anything else I wanted to improve my craft, I wanted to become a better writer, a more rounded writer and what better way to achieve this than by surrounding myself with the best authors our genre has to offer. Anna Larner, who wrote the fabulous ‘Highland Fling' made an interesting point when discussing whether lesbian characters should be more realistic - she mentioned how authors have a responsibility to their readers and this really struck a chord with me. Although slightly different in context, I feel the biggest responsibility I have is to grow as an author, to learn and keep learning so that I’m giving readers the best experience I’m capable of providing.

The final panel of Ellcon was another significant one as far as I was concerned, having already lit upon my inability, or perhaps difficulty is a better word, when it comes to approaching people, as it was about collaborations in Lesfic publishing. On the panel were two authors, T.B Markinson and Jae, who for me epitomised this concept because I had experienced first-hand their support and generosity - T.B included my book ‘Beholden’ in her IHeartLesfic newsletter and Jae included the same book in her book bingo. The fact that both these women (who I was huge fan of) reached out to me meant, and to this day still means, the world to me. Jae used a fabulous analogy when she spoke about authors not being competition but being colleagues, explaining that books aren’t like cars which people buy maybe once every ten years, people read and buy many books throughout the year and so there’s enough readers to go around, a viewpoint shared by the other panel members Clare Lydon and Caroline Manchoulas. The message being that in celebrating each other’s success and supporting one another, the standard in our genre will become much higher, the number of sub-genres will increase, and by providing people with more choice the readership, in turn, will surely grow.

We’ve been starved of good quality content for so long. It’s time Lesfic became a force to be reckoned with!
On my return home one of the questions my friends and family asked was “So was it worth going?” Listen I’m never going to be a social butterfly and I didn’t speak to half the people I wished I could have spoken to, yet despite this my answer was a resounding yes!

For the past week I’ve been trying to think of the best endorsement I could bestow Ellcon and what I came up with is this; the wonderfully uplifting atmosphere I experienced in Bristol where everyone was so warm and gracious and, where I genuinely got the sense that we were all in this together, has given me the courage to sign up for a writer’s retreat run by Brey Willows and Robyn Nyx who I met whilst attending their POV workshop. If you're interested the intimate retreat takes place at the Bambu resort in Malaga, Spain May 2019. I'm Super excited!

And I won’t need my security blanket this time because another thing Ellcon taught me is that meeting new people isn’t so bad… just as long as they're Lesfic readers and, or authors!

So, in conclusion, I arrived at Ellcon hoping to learn a little and perhaps meet a few of my lesfic heroines.

And I left Ellcon having learned a great deal and discovered a whole new raft of lesfic heroines to fangirl over.

I’d really like to take this opportunity to say a huge thankyou to everyone who took part and to everyone who had a hand in organising this event it was, and you are all amazing.