Looking for advice

Hi

I'm posting this on both Facebook and Goodreads in the hope someone can help. I'm in the early stages of a book where the love interest (mid-twenties, overachiever, hot and knows it) is Deaf (severe hearing loss following meningitis when he was four). I'll be looking for a paid sensitivity reader once I've got the first draft hammered out, but for now I'd really like to just chat to someone who is willing and comfortable to make sure I'm not cocking things up before I even start.

I'm interested in:
1. What really pisses you off when authors get it wrong? Or even just the most cringeworthy cliches...
2. Use/non-use of hearing aids in different circumstances.
3. Different strategies/confidence levels in different scenarios--the main setting is a big country house he's known since childhood, but I've got a major scene pencilled in for a night out clubbing (this is my Orpheus retelling--bring on the Maenads!).
4. Any relationship pitfalls I should be aware of between a Deaf and a hearing character. By the end of the book, these two are going to need a flaming row to deal with all the lies and manipulation they use on each other, and I'd like to establish that this relationship is feasible in every other way once they've finally got to a point of emotional honesty. If there's stuff I need to address to make that plausible, it would be helpful to know.

I'd love to talk to someone in more detail, but any comments, passing thoughts, or rants are welcome. If anyone is willing to have an in-depth chat or read through a plot summary, I can compensate you for the time and effort (I have no idea of the going rate for this, but again, DM me and we'll work something out).
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Published on September 23, 2018 14:56
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message 1: by Haruhi (new)

Haruhi Unfortunately I can't help, but I wanted you to know that your post is being seen! There are probably some subreddits where you could reach out for assistance too.

Super excited you're working on a project! Have fun! :)


message 2: by Amy (new)

Amy Durreson Madalenga wrote: "Unfortunately I can't help, but I wanted you to know that your post is being seen! There are probably some subreddits where you could reach out for assistance too.

Super excited you're working on ..."


Thank you :) I've never ventured onto Reddit--any ideas where I should start?


message 3: by Haruhi (new)

Haruhi You can try r/deaf, r/writeresearch and r/writing. I also found this site while googling.

A friend of mine who spends more time on Reddit than me cautions that Reddit can be weirdly hostile towards deaf people, and that the r/deaf subreddit can be strict about research questions. This is less helpful than I was expecting, but hopefully it'll give you a kick-off point :) If Livejournal and Dreamwidth were more active I'd say try there, but nowadays I'm not sure it's worth it : /


message 4: by Tenny (new)

Tenny Looks like I am a month late, but if this is still relevant, I can give you some tips, sources, etc. I am one of the mods on the site http://deafaq.tumblr.com/, which tries bridge hearing and Deaf culture and we often deal with questions about writing. ;)

http://deafaq.tumblr.com/post/1382228...

http://slecnaztemnot.tumblr.com/post/...

http://slecnaztemnot.tumblr.com/post/...

- common mistakes when writing deaf characters

http://slecnaztemnot.tumblr.com/post/...

- parody post about how hearing people often write deaf characters

As for your questions:
1) - Lipreading is hard and mostly quesswork, not a superpower.
- every country has its own specific sign language and they are NOT based on spoken ones. also not universal, not pantomime, not easy to learn (at least 3 years or more to be passable)
- presenting deafness as tragic and/or something to be cured, happy ending is when deafness is gone (ugh)
- presenting cochlear implants as perfect solution to deafnes (about this topic, I recommend nonfiction book The Mask of Benevolence by Harlan Lane)
There is lot more, just from the top of my head.

2) Unless you are an old person who lost their hearing due age, you either wear your hearing aid ALL the time or almost never. You of course take if off for bathing/water related things and sleeping, but otherwise you always have it on. Maybe you switch it off somewhere extra loud. Some deaf people dont wear them because they dont help them or because they prefer it.
Also pet peeve - the only people who usually touch your HA is you and your doctor.

3) Confidence level really depends on the person. Some deaf people are shy, some are outgoing. Would need more details to comment on it.

4) Most Deaf people end up with other Deaf people because its easier. They share the language and culture. When Deaf person gets together with someone hearing, its almost always an interpreter or at least someone heavily involved with the community. Usually, the problems lies in communication (esp. if hearing person cant sign or signs badly) or in lack of balance, so to speak? Hearing person can have power over the access of info to the deaf person. ("I will tell you later," etc). On the other hand, Deaf person can take advantage of the hearing and use them more as their personal interpreter then as a romantical partner.
Also different cultural habits, different communities - hearing people are sometimes not welcomed into Deaf community of their partner, Deaf partner can be not accepted by hearing friends of their hearing partner.

Hope this helped :)


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