I know what you're thinking, two blog posts in 24 hours? Is this some alternate universe? But no, it's not. I just happened to be scrolling through Facebook this morning, as you do, and stumbled across a post that made me want to open up a bit with you guys.

As you know, I'm hosting Wham Bam Author Jam in Christchurch this year, and we're raising money for Mental Health. My reasons for choosing the Mental Health Foundation of NZ are because I want to give back to those who helped us in our time of need a few years ago. It's also because depression and anxiety are two things that I've seen in my friends and family over the years, and I know how hard that struggle is.

I'm going to tell you a bit about me. Before I met my husband, I was a single mum for several years. My son was my world, and I felt like I had to be strong all the time for him. In fact, I've always prided myself on being 'emotionally strong'. But sometimes, I fall apart. I get so overwhelmed with everything I have to do, and I just shut down. Sometimes I just sit and cry for no real reason other than feeling overwhelmed. My chest feels tight and I can't think straight. I'm so thankful to have a hubby who just wraps me in his arms and holds me until I calm down, or friends who remind me that I don't have to be super woman, and it's okay to have a break.

For me, hosting this event has been a huge step out of my comfort zone. People often look at me and think I'm this super confident person, but really, I'm shitting myself. I'm not good at small talk, and I get flustered in groups of strangers. I tend to be that person who hovers by the food table in social situations because food equals comfort. I tend to watch people until I've figured out who I can talk to without feeling like an idiot, because let me tell you, being an author, people expect you to be eloquent with words. This is far from the case. In person, I freeze up and words leave my brain.
For example, last year I went to Brisbane for my first overseas signing. I was meant to be meeting a friend there, but she was unable to make it, so I was there on my own. I walked into the cocktail party the night before and was filled with unease as I looked around the sea of faces I didn't know. All I wanted was to turn around and walk out, but I made myself go in and grab a drink. I sort of stood there awkwardly for a few minutes, before I decided to just go for it. I turned to the first group of ladies I saw and said, "Hi, I'm Stacey, and I don't know anyone here." And you know what? I had the best night! Those ladies were so welcoming and friendly, and one even knew who I was - which absolutely boosted my mood. I often remind myself of that when I feel uncomfortable, because if I had just walked out, I never would've met these amazing women.

I know that stepping out of my comfort zone is good for me because amazing things happen, but it's still hard to take that first step. So, as you can imagine, reaching out to people to promote this event has been far from easy for me. As I said before, I like to think of myself as emotionally strong, and asking for help is something I don't like doing. And even though I've learned over the years that it's okay to not always be the strong one, and there's no shame in asking for help, I still find it hard to reach out. Most of the time I would rather suffer in silence than reach out, so you know if I'm asking, it's because I don't feel like I can do it on my own anymore.

So, on that note, I would like to say a huge thanks to the people who have helped me with this event without me even having to ask. They saw a need, and offered, and to you, I'm so thankful. This event has been my dream for several years, and I'm so excited to see it actually come to fruition.
Kathryn Dee was one of the first to jump on board and offer to donate swag for the VIP bags, and even created Facebook frames for the event (if you need swag, she's amazing at it! You can check her out here).
Jasmina Siderovski has a heart of gold, and she promoted me and the event in her magazine eYs. She works tirelessly to help spread joy to others, and I love her for it.
Nicole Goodin is one of those friends I can always count on when I need to vent. Running this event on my own hasn't been easy, and she's always a message away to offer me support and suggestions.
Clare Erasmus, Alisha Hodges and Gillian St Kevern have all helped with putting posters up, and Jenner Lichtwark has given me several leads of people to reach out to.
My friends, Monique, Ange, Kylie, Dena, Debbie, Julie - you've all given me suggestions of people to contact, shared my posts everywhere, and even offered to help at the event.
You guys have no idea how much you have helped me, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, I'm going to leave you with this thought, You don't always have to be strong, and it's okay if you're not okay. Reach out, take that step, and let people in xxx