Last week marked the official release of The Malta Escape, which is the ninth book in the Payne & Jones series and quite possibly the funniest thriller ever written. Not just by me, but by anyone.

Of course, I might be slightly biased.

So, how did I come up with such an awesome book?

Two years ago, I asked readers on social media what I should work on next, and the overwhelming majority said, “your résumé”. After narrowing the focus of my question, most fans requested a new Payne & Jones novel, which didn’t surprise me at all. Based on book sales, it is by far my most popular series. Then again, the duo has been around for six more books than the Hunters, so it wasn’t exactly a fair fight. Not that Payne & Jones care about fighting fair. Those crazy bastards will exploit any advantage they can get.

On the surface, it seemed like a straightforward decision: I should give fans what they wanted, right? Unfortunately, what readers want and what publishers want are often two different things, and that’s when things get complicated.

As crazy as this sounds, I won an ITW Thriller award for The Prisoner's Gold in July 2016, and less than a month later, I was dropped by my main publisher, who explained to me in no uncertain terms that the action-adventure genre was dead. I was tempted to have Clive Cussler give them a call to let them know otherwise, but I figured he was too busy writing five action-adventure series per year and selling millions of books to actually find the time to do anything but write and work on his awesome cars.

Anyway, their decision put me in a difficult position. Most publishers are reluctant to take on an established series—let alone two. My agents thought I would be better off writing a standalone novel that they could sell to publishers. Several of my author friends suggested the same thing. But after many sleepless nights, I decided to take a chance and write the book that my fans were asking for: a brand-new Payne & Jones novel.

Of course, that decision was loaded with risk. In order to release the book, I was forced to publish it myself. That meant no guaranteed money from a publisher. No one to design the cover. No one to market the book. And so on. Not only did I have to write the novel, I had to hire experienced personnel to do all of the things that I couldn’t do myself. And since I have very little talent or expertise, those expenses added up quickly.

So, why am I telling you all of this?

First and foremost, to guilt you into buying my new book. I mean, you were the ones who begged me to write the darn thing, so now I’m hoping you’ll do your part by buying a copy or ten. Keep in mind: the holidays are right around the corner, and nothing says, “I love you” like two ex-MANIACs who make fun of each other while searching for treasure and killing bad guys.

Secondly, to save the lives of Payne & Jones. You might think I’m kidding, but their very existence is directly tied to the success of The Malta Escape. Unless I sell a ton of copies, it simply doesn’t make financial sense to keep the series going. So if you like Payne & Jones, please help me pay their salaries and medical bills.

And last but not least, I’m hoping that you will prove my ex-publisher wrong about the action-adventure genre. Believe it or not, this is your chance to help an author stick it to Big Ink (or whatever major publishers call themselves behind closed doors)!

Okay, that's all I have to say. Time to work on my résumé.