Today, I finally had time to sit and read and watch some videos I like. I think this blog is my remaining solace from my hectic schedule and I derive my peace out of writing my thoughts on virtual screen. This is the only time I get to like – be myself – time.

On the very rare days I get this time to contemplate about the mysteries of the universe, and admire art by my favourite artists, I am somehow feeling stuck yet liberated. I mean, I free completely free to express myself artistically in fictional mediums, but I am stuck in the sense I am unable to express myself in non fictional terms.

The problem is that – fantasy is more appealing than reality. And reality kind of hurts, and it is kind of like what we see everyday on the streets. There is nothing appealing in that, but in fantasy, in fiction, there is no boundaries to our imaginations.

Sometimes I want to tear the dividing veil between reality and fiction and make my work more real. Some days, I pull back completely and decide to hide my truth under fiction. On other days, I just want to dance. I don’t know, I am in a confused mess and writing this piece that doesn’t make any sense on Thanksgiving Day.

My life is very suppressed, very controlled, like a greenhouse. It is safe, it is comfortable, it is nice. But it is just a built up mega lie to keep the illusion of safety when actually, it is an enclosed trap. In this trap, people are told to do and say what others want them to do in a controlled behavior. But the only exception is that if you create entertaining fictional pieces, you are allowed a voice.


 


In this controlled state, I could only express myself in fictional terms and nothing more.


 


This is the path I had chosen and lived to no regrets.

 

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