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They say, entire life flashes in front of the eyes in the last moments.

But, only could I see was the face of that girl who taught me to love but never taught to forget that love.

Love sometimes takes you to the strange place where you can’t live and can’t even die.

I was on the edge of life; I had to decide between the two extremes, and I choose death. Yes, I had to quit as there was no other option.

Yes, for me, my life had no meaning left. Leaving behind my dear ones I, embarked on that journey from where no one returns and that wasn’t that easy for me.

Suicide is a brave attempt, it requires a great deal of courage to annihilate self, and that courage comes from only one thought, there shall be peace thereafter, which however is walking after the shadows in reality.

Standing on the edge of a cliff above an abyss, I spread arms and closed my eyes, let myself loose for that free fall.

Death was just moments away and suddenly as if lighting has sparked, someone has called that name which was enough to draw my attention, I turned back to the voice and found a stranger calling me. “Maya won’t be happy”.

It bewildered me that how a stranger whom I never met could know about Maya and Me.

He extended his hands and said.

“Come on Kabir, Maya won’t be happy to see you in pieces, rather she would love to see you in intact bones and flesh”.

I asked, “What did you say just now?”  Instead of an answer, I got a jerk, he pulled me from the edge of that cliff.

It was not the answer to my question; I was too much annoyed, as he was standing between my life and my death.

He was standing just a few steps far, smiling and was looking at me with inquisitive eyes like he was trying to guess what I will do. But, I stood, with a question in my mind and eyes “who the hell are you?” He perhaps understood that storm which was gathering inside me.

“Come on, Kabir, let’s have a cup of coffee, before your death”.

My anger was about to explode on this strange person, but as always, my inner Kabir was wiser than me this time too, he sprang up and whispered “hey, before hitting him, ask who he is? He could be a cop, and you’ll land in jail instead of the coffin”.

I took the advice; it was a good suggestion; I was here to die, not for going to a police station or jail.

I told him “Hey could you please tell me, why are you here?”

He winked, “To have a coffee with you, I drink coffee with those who come here to die”. It was too much. He was testing my endurance.

“Look, boss, I am pissed off beyond limits, don’t irritate me more with your smiles tell me, what you want from me”? I told him in a stern tone.

But, there was no sign of any anger or dislike on his face, his face was calm and neutral and there was an order in his eyes. “Sit down”.

I still don’t know why I was following his instructions but, with reluctance, I sat down on the rock.

He sat too, in front of me. He poured coffee from the flask he had with him.

during this time I scanned him from head to toe. He was just like me though not alike. He had worn a black tee and blue jeans, a backpack was hanging on his back, perhaps he had taken out that flask form that bag.

When life is amidst the turbulent winds without your actions or by your actions, all you want is to come out.

But for me, this beautiful world, the people all seemed meaningless, for me there was an emptiness in everything.

I remembered a poem I wrote before I quit.

MY SHADOW IS HOLLOW,

JUST LIKE ME.

THE BURNING CINDERS  ARE NOW JUST ASHES

JUST LIKE ME.

THE EMPTINESS WITHIN ME ASKS

WHY ARE YOU ALIVE?

HEART IS NUMB TO REPLY

IT IS LIFELESS

JUST LIKE ME.

THESE still MOUNTAINS ARE EMOTIONLESS

JUST LIKE ME.

I DON’T HAVE AN IDEA 

WHAT IS HAPPENING?

MIND IS CLUELESS

JUST LIKE ME.

But, that moment I was really not clueless, I was aware and wanted to close down this event and He and I sat down for a cup of coffee, that coffee, which was going to be the last coffee of my life and I was but obviously in the mood of drinking it as early as possible but, the coffee was damn good and to my amazement he handed me another cup with that smile which charmed me like a small kid which goes to the person who has a jar of candies and he gives them free.

 
I was about to take the first sip of the second cup of coffee he handed me a note.
 
Dear Kabir
There is an unmarked line between obsession and passion.
no one understands how and when this passion turn into obsession though it happens one step at a time, smart ones always find a way out and choose another passion, another milestone to conquer
 
Don’t let her be that obsession which can be fatal for you and as far as I can see this has happened and now you have two options.
 
Either you can die or you can come back to life, the choice is yours!
 
I know that writing is your hobby and if you really want to take revenge
Turn it into the best revenge by writing about her betrayal and make her famous,
 
You have five minutes to think!
I am leaving a pen, write me back otherwise Good luck!
See you in hell!!!
~Yours
Ali
 
 
What kind of man is he? Why he is so curious to save me? what is his motive behind that? these thoughts were baffling me.
 
And, I switched on the pause mode of my life, for seven days.
 
Ali,
Thanks for the two cups of coffee.
I will try your illogical idea of life and would live with you for seven days only.
 
and if you get success in these seven days, I shall become a writer. I can figure out you want me to be a writer by your note.
 
Do you know why I choose the exact seven days?
 
Because on the eighth day is her birthday and It would be nice to present My dead body to her.
Yours
Kabir.
 
With these lines, I kept the pen and paper aside, exactly at that place from where I had picked it. and turned my head to see him.
 
But he was nowhere.
“He might have gone for some stuff” I mumbled
and, that was when my inner Kabir popped up again, he was grinning and I shooed him off.
 
I was waiting for him and there was no sign of him, day rolled into noon and noon would turn into the evening and I was waiting for him but there was no sign of him, for a while I thought it was a dream but it was not!
 
That paper was a witness to his existence.
 
Yes! Existence is a witness, it watches one and all.
 
Then, I was mentally cursing myself that I missed the chance to die, and like always my inner Kabir was again standing in front of me with his sarcastic smile.
 
 
And this time I didn’t stop him instead I was smiling and as he saw my smile he went back there from where he came.
 
My smile was not fake, it was that smile which comes on lips when you found something which you were looking for.
 
Yes! Ali was coming back and deep within me, something sparked again.
there was something in the air.
and, I was waiting for that.


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