I’ve just de-activated my Twitter account. This has been coming on a while.  I was getting a lot of likes by private accounts which I found creepy to be honest.  Who the fuck was watching me?  Psychos?  Elite politicians?  Family members I’d rather not speak to?  The horrible thing is…I was also…on there too much.  Those hashtag prompts were addicting to the point where I caught myself staring like a total fucking moron into the screen, grinning as I composed…tweets.  Sure they were poems.  Sure they were tiny flash fictions or bits of prose…but they were just fucking tweets.  Yes I did share the odd passage from my WIPs but really, my WIPs have been suffering as a result of Twitter.  I could have published a collection of poems and at least one of my WIPs by now if I hadn’t been fucking about on Twitter.

I de-activated Facebook due to issues with crazy-assed family and in laws.  I de-activated Twitter because I’m pretty fucking crazy.  And that’s just it…social media is not an outlet for stress.  It’s a sponging platform on which your algorithm allotted show times need to shine over everyone else’s whilst you struggle to stand upon said sponge (platform).  People like your tweets, they re-post/re-tweet/share etc.  You say thank you.  Then you either fail to gain notice, get totally disillusioned and bitter or you rise up above those fucking failures and say thank you when you need a little boost outside of your exhaustingly successful life.  That’s the kind and….kind of funny side of it. 

There’s another one too. I’m fairly sure it’s inhabited by mutants and demon spawn and the odd horny yet disillusioned angel with a hose.

Yes, there are nice people on social media, I’ve met and interacted with many seemingly lovely people.  And I’ve genuinely admired so many great snippets of writing.  I’m not gonna call anybody out. I don’t think “certain people” who I “followed” weren’t nice or whatever. How the fuck would I know anyway?  IT’S. FUCKING. TWITTER. A fun distraction.  A decent marketing platform.  Everyone has a persona or a pen name on there.  Frankly, to go on without one is like going into cyber battle with no armour. What the fuck ever.  

I wasn’t trolled or traumatized.  I AM over-sensitive and at one point last night, after offering my support and even clumsily complimenting someone…I found myself re-living a high-school scenario with the popular girls at school.  And I actually never was treated poorly by the popular girls at school.  These people were just “teasing” me.  They thought I was funny in sort of a gang up on the nice girl sort of way.  I was like….fuck this.  I’ve got writing to do.  I’m fucking around talking to people I’ve never met to get trapped in an episode of Mean Girls?  Um.  No. 

So, perhaps there will be a poem or a writing update or yes…god…maybe a rant or two.  But I’m going to pull my head out of my ass and write like I fucking mean it.  It’s nearly New Moon.  Time to cut out that which no longer serves me and sometimes….that shit hurts.  To all the lovely people on Twitter who seem nothing but nice and genuine and just trying to get some writerly support who are maybe confused by my absence…I’m sorry.  It’s very possible I’ll come back as someone else.  But something had to give last night and Twitter was it.