I am back once again with a short story. This one doesn’t have an accompanying song although it was somewhat inspired by the Robin Williams film ‘What Dreams May Come’ that I watched for the first time the other night.

I will warn people that it has very similar dark themes to that movie, so if you aren’t comfortable with themes surrounding death/mental illness than don’t read this.

I wrote this only yesterday and since have read it over a few times, so if there are errors in it than that’s why.

Anyways, without any further adieu…

It was an early August afternoon the last time I ever saw my mama smile. The sun was out, beating down on our backs but we didn’t mind. It made the water cooler and the ice-cream somehow sweeter.

Mama was bouncing my baby brother, Jamie, on her knee. She laughed and talked with dad while Jamie chewed in the stick leftover from his ice-cream. He was still in diapers even though he was almost three, but she said it was okay, he’d grow up one day and we should relish the time he was a baby cause it would be gone soon. I still thought it would be really nice when he was old enough to know not to chew up my toys. 

I decided to go out into the water and swim, even though they weren’t watching me and I knew I shouldn’t. When I looked back to shout to them so I could show off that I was swimming I saw that mama was screaming and holding my baby brother in her arms. Dad was on the phone, talking to somebody, and he looked really upset too.

I started to make my way back up to the beach to ask them what was wrong but a lady in a huge white hat grabbed me and moved me away, not letting me go over. I tried to tell her that I needed to find out why they were all so sad but she said that I didn’t need to go. That everything would be okay.

Police cars and another bigger one that also had a siren showed up and my worry was forgotten in the excitement of seeing one up close. And even better than that, I got to ride in one! The man driving was really nice and he let me ride in the front instead of behind the bars in the back. I talked to him the whole time, telling him about my family, but mostly about my baby brother and how I was going to play baseball with him when he got big enough and stopped wearing diapers.

He just smiled and nodded, not saying much. But that’s what all grownups did when little kids were talking. Sometimes I wondered if they were even listening to me at all.

He drove me to my grandmother’s house. She was really nice, always made me sweets and dolls, and she smelled like nutmeg. She had a nice cat too. Today she looked sad, which I couldn’t understand, cause it was so nice out. I asked her when mama, dad, and Jamie were going to be coming and she just looked really sad and offered me a cookie.

I was starting to get a little concerned when they didn’t come to take me home after a few days. We were supposed to be going on an aeroplane to a nice place with white beaches. Had they left me behind? I know it was wrong to go into the water alone, but I didn’t think they’d be that mad at me.

Dad finally came to get me. He looked really tired. I asked him why mama and Jamie hadn’t come too and he just looked really sad. The grown-ups always looked really sad when I asked questions.

Dad let me sit in the front of the car too. He never did that so I was happy. I told him all the things I’d done at Grandma’s house, but he didn’t answer me at all. He drove through three red lights on the way home and I made sure to mention all of them to him. On the second one he told me to be quiet, so I just looked out the window and mentally counted the other one.

When we got home I ran to see mama and Jamie, but just mama was sitting at the table, staring down at the cup in her hands. I asked her if Jamie was down on his nap and she started crying so much that I got scared and ran to bed.

Later dad came to my room and told me that I wasn’t going to ever see Jamie again, that he was in the ground now. But I just couldn’t understand why they’d put him in the ground. Wouldn’t he get lonely?

That made dad cry. I’d never seen him cry before and I got scared again. I knew there was something very wrong, but I didn’t understand what.

A couple nights later I woke up to a lot of screaming so I got out of bed and went downstairs. There were strangers in the house and my mom was lying on a weird bed. Dad was beside her, crying again. There was a lot of blood all over her arms. I ran back upstairs and hid in my bed, curling up under my covers. When dad came in to talk to me I pretended to be asleep. But he knew and he hugged me, not saying anything.

I didn’t see mama the next day or for a lot of days after that. I asked dad if she’d been put in the ground too, like Jamie, but he said no. He said that she was very sick and was in a hospital. I asked if I could go see her, but he went very pale and told me that it wasn’t good for me too and that maybe I could when she got better.

A long time passed and I went back to school. Every day when I got home I asked my dad if I could see my mom again, but every day he said no.

One day the policeman from the day on the beach came to my school and got me out. He took me to my grandma’s again and when we were there they both sat down and told me that my dad’s car had gone off the road and crashed. I told them that that wasn’t right. Dad was a good driver, except going through red lights. I told them that he was probably just lost and he’d be back soon. That made them both sad.

I waited for him to find his way back from where he’d gotten lost. Grandma made me a lot of dolls and always asked me how I was doing, but I don’t see why. I was okay. My dad would be back soon, my mom would get better, and they would realize that Jamie was lonely in the ground and take him home too. Then everything would be okay.

It was after Christmas when Grandma had to go to the hospital. She said that her heart wasn’t working properly so I cut her a new one out of paper to take with her so that the doctor could put that one in instead. But I must not have made it big enough, cause they said that it didn’t work and that I couldn’t see her ever again. They’d put her in the ground too. At least Jamie would have some company.

They made me go live with some strangers, but I didn’t want to. The mom smelled like liver and the dad was always angry. They wouldn’t listen when I told them that my family would come and get me so they sent me away to someone else.

None of the people liked me very much so they made me move a lot. I didn’t like having to pack all my dolls up so much. They didn’t like the suitcase,. It was cold and lonely. I just wanted to go back home. I wanted them to let me go back to my family already. They missed me.

One day they told me that I was very sick like mama was sick. They put me in a building and made me take medicine and talk to a person who acted all concerned and wrote stuff down whenever I talked about my family. She told me that my family was gone but I told her they were coming back. She just didn’t understand.

They would never understand.

But now I did. I finally understood. My family wasn’t going to come back to me, I had to go to them. They were waiting for me.

But now I’m scared.

I can’t find them.

It’s cold and lonely here.

-STORY END-