In my last post, I said I wasn’t going to do a review of CBS All Access All New The Twilight Zone. I guess I couldn’t help myself. It makes me angry because The Twilight Zone is not only my favorite show of all time, it’s the best show of all time. Let’s break it down where the new one goes wrong.

1. IT’S TOO LONG

There was one bad season of TZ in the 60s, and it was the 4th season. The 4th season didn’t work because it was an hour long. Shows that are an hour long are ensembles. You have a minimum of four characters and two plots running. But in the 60s and in today’s reboot, it doesn’t have any of that. It’s still 45 minutes to 1 hour long with 2 characters and one plot. The pacing drags and any sort of surprise isn’t there because you’re able to see it miles ahead of where it’s going. You wish it would get their faster because you’re bored.

A 20-30 minute episode works best because it’s focused. You usually don’t see the ending coming but it does make sense when it gets there. You don’t have time to be bored and they don’t have time to drag things out.

2. TOO MANY THEMES

Because it’s an hour long show now, they pack too many things in it. Things like themes. Instead of being a tightly packed episode with one prevalent theme, there’s three or four. Since there’s so many, none of them are strong. They’re all diluted. Yes, the classic TZ episodes had more than one theme, but those secondary themes were off shoots of the primary one. Or they were themes you could find if you looked at the episode differently. In the current show, themes are crammed in and they don’t flow from one another and then the previous one is forgotten.

3. KILLS THE MYSTERY

In a shorter format, you don’t explain everything. You don’t explain why a boy has powers, why the world is a dictatorship, why they exile people on their own planet, why there’s a monster on a plane, and so on. You just don’t have time to. Why things are the way they are aren’t important. It’s how people deal with them that’s important and that usually relates to theme. It’s less impactful if you explain the why.

They explain everything here. It’s aliens, they elected the boy, men are bad because they choose to be not because of some rock, etc. Yet even though they explain everything they still don’t explain the reasons as to why characters do the dumbest things.

4. LACK OF VISION

People always complain about the length of the show as the number one thing against it. But I believe this is the lack of vision is main reason why the new show doesn’t work. I was excited for the show because I thought it was going to be Jordan Peele’s vision much like the original was Rod Serling’s vision. I had thought Peele was going to write shows that were based on what he wanted to talk about or experienced.

I was wrong.

Jordan Peele is just a mouthpiece. He has no footprint on this show or if he does, I can’t tell because it’s so minimal. Judging from his movies and sketch comedy show, like every writer, he has something to speak about. He has ideas, stories, and themes from his point of view and his background. You can tell Rod Serling had has fingerprints on the original show. Unfortunately, Jordan Peele does not. I wonder if that will change next season of if he’ll leave because of his lack to do so? Until it has the guidance of one man’s vision, it will always feel like a corporate produced show.

5. WHERE ARE THE WRITERS?

The original Twilight Zone had some of the greatest writers on the show. I can’t name one writer on the current show. From all the marketing and promotion, they’re constantly pushing all the famous actors they’ve signed on board. And while the actors do a good job, they’re just that–actors. Actors get all the credit, but it’s the writers who come up with the dialogue, the ideas, the characters, and the themes. When a writer does his job well, much like a referee, you’ll never know it.

Instead of spending all their time trying to get the big name actors, they need to focus on poaching writers. I would feel far more comfortable if it was “Written by the Person Who Did X” rather than “Starring Blah, Blah, Blah.” Writers are always forgotten because “anyone can write.”

It’s a shame really. I was so looking forward to this new Twilight Zone reiteration. I actually liked the previous ones to varying degrees. They were solid and sometimes good, in their own way. But this new one is terrible. Here’s hoping they get the next one right.

Marc Johnson