A week ago, I got the sweetest email out of the blue from one of my blog followers.  Honestly, it's been so long since I've blogged, I was surprised anyone still followed me!  The thing that really stood out to me in the email was that the follower had been praying for me all this time, + you have no idea how much I needed to hear that.

let me recap these past 12 months

As some of you know, I was pregnant in 2018, + lost the baby at 16 weeks - a little boy that we named October Phoenix.  Certainly part of the reason I haven't blogged much is because I had to keep my head down + just keep going, working on my writing, raising Filigree + Wolfgang, finding the places to plant my loss so it could grow into endurance. 

Now I'm pregnant again, just one week shy of when October died, + I'm dealing with the roiling stress of worrying that this baby, too, won't make it.  At 6 weeks I suffered a subchorionic hemorrhage + spent the following month on rest, coping with the mental strain + praying until my body hurt. 

i've barely written anything since 6 weeks

I completed my first draft of Adamantine around the turn of the year, + began writing one of the earliest Plenilunar novels, Ampersand.  But since the hemorrhage, I've been mentally worn out.  I know lots of people say that you should write a little every day, but I have never found that practical.  There is more to life than writing, + we're not machines; sometimes our energies are completely redirected into other channels.  If there is one thing I have learned over the years with my life + my writing, it's that sometimes they can coexist, but sometimes the season for one diminishes + will come back again in due time  No, I never know when that time will be, but I know it will come.

still yours, if somewhat battered,xoxo, jenny