Forgive me readers, for I have sinned. It’s been 7 months since my last blog post and for that I’m truly sorry. I’ve had so much stuff going on that it’s barely even entered my head.

I’ll go into some on here but some is personal, and not the stuff you lovely folk want to be bored with.

So Onwards…

7 months ago something happened – this is the personal stuff but it’s had a massive knock on effect to my time, health and everything else. I’ve had over 4 months sick this year which obviously, has caused the employers concern. But I couldn’t have been at work – my RA has been active and I’ve also had the black dog knocking at the door, or to be more accurate, clawing his demonic ways inside. I’ve had some massive doubts about a lot of things and a lot of anxiety – so coupled with the pain and the extra stress from the personal stuff, I’ve not really been in a good place.

I am however, starting to feel a bit better now in respect of the depression – and a good bit of this is down to support from you lovely readers. You’re always there with kind words and hugs and friendship. And it truly means so much. So thank you – each and every one of you. I’m extremely blessed to have so many people who care and ask after me. I hope you know I appreciate it and will always reciprocate whenever I can. The anxiety and depression are still there but I’m continuing the battle with all of you at my side cheering me on.

The RA stuff, it turns out, may not be solely RA. The good old specialists now think I have fibromyalgia and/or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome on top. I’ve given a lot of blood for tests, had X-rays and have to have further scans before the diagnosis is complete but that’s what they’re leaning towards. Which is actually a relief in some ways. Because to be honest I thought I was going a bit nuts. Here my meds for the RA are working and my inflammation is down but I’m still in pain and the fatigue is knocking me down persistently. It’s been confusing me for a long time how the meds can be working and I feel so rough. I’ve had to cancel various commitments, meet ups, and the like because I’ve just not been up to it. And believe me when I say I feel awful for doing that!! The last thing I want is to let people down. And I don’t just mean writerly events – I’ve cancelled on friends and family etc too. But this potential new diagnosis goes a long way to helping me understand a bit better what’s going on with my body and mind!

It’s a relief to know it’s not in my head and I’m not going crazy.

I am back at work now and work, although they’re putting me on a stage because of my sickness, are supporting me as best they can.

Hopefully the personal stuff will be settling down imminently also and will relieve a lot of the stress.

Just want to give a huge thank you to a few people in my inner circle – my husband Peter has been an absolute diamond of late (not that he isn’t all the time – he is – but even more so over the previous months). He’s helping me with the things I’m really struggling with – both physically and mentally – and though I try and say thank you, I’m pretty sure when I’m taken over by fatigue it comes out as gobbledegook. My wonderful mum has been working her bum off, supporting me, as well as dealing with the personal stuff which affects the whole family. She’s my absolute rock and a total inspiration – without her I wouldn’t be a third of the woman I am. And my lovely friends – you know who you are – always there with a hug and to bolster me and advise me. I truly am blessed to have you in my life.

Writing has had to take a back-burner – which is a sad but true fact. I hope to be returning to it very soon and get working on finishing the first romantic suspense novel – I do love it and the characters are just fab. I’ve also started the next forensic files novel – very briefly but it is started! Hopefully I’ll be back on track and have stuff ready in the very near future.

Thanks for reading – and as always, thanks for the ongoing support and friendship. Keep smiling folks, I know I am. Xxx