���I could never do what you���ve done.��� I realize, while listening to my friend, she was not referring to my surviving a targeted attempt on my life, she meant, my ‘switching teams.’

People often assume my wife, Leah, is the first woman I ever dated but that is not the case. Actually, my first relationship with a woman lasted 22 incredible yet tumultuous months prior to my dating and marrying my wife.

That first relationship was completely responsible for where I am today. I doubt my ex would appreciate knowing that piece of information but it’s true. She and I used to call our ill-fated ‘experiment’ a beautiful mess. The complexities of life got in our way and it was rife with pitfalls. Nevertheless it was one of the most loving adventures of my entire life.

Before Leah and I dated, we were close friends and colleagues. We helped each other through struggles and made sure to celebrate happy times.

When events turned into serious concerns with the first woman in my life, who else should I take my questions to, but my friend, the expert. Leah has been gay all her life and one thing she knows well, is women. What Leah and I discovered when each of our doomed relationships ended, was that we had a lot of the same boxes checked for prospective mates. Honesty, monogamy, intimacy, family, a love of travel, kids, and we are both Jewish. Those were a few of the key traits discovered in friendship that we could now explore in a romantic relationship.

Years ago, when the engagement announcement was made at our work place, whispers grew to an unprecedented high. The reality that my time in Leah’s office chatting about work, friends and life, actually served to lay the ground work for us to date and eventually marry.

Once I fell deeply in love with the woman who makes my heart sing, who balances my personality in countless ways and who doesn���t let me stay angry as I usually can for days at a stretch; outside opinions were irrelevant.

When my four children were okay with it all, we decided to build a life together not just enter into a relationship. Leah not only married me but also became mom to my four children. Something that is not always easy because we are a tight group. The kids and I have been through life altering events together.

Leah and I realize that building a life brings commitment and hopes for the future. No one is able to guarantee something will last forever for myriad reasons but we strive to make it work for us. We try to break old habits from failed relationships. Sometimes we find success in our attempts but often there is room for improvement.

My switching teams has allowed me to live my authentic life and be true to who I am. I can���t imagine being anywhere else with anyone else. I believe things were meant to be just as they are right now.

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