I seem to be the only person I know, that is thrilled and excited to be turning 50. My wife Leah asked me if I wanted a party with friends or if I would prefer to spend my big birthday on a family trip? ���There is nothing that can compare to a family trip. I want to be with just my wife and my children,��� was my immediate response.

I don���t understand why friends and co-workers hate the thought of getting older. I guess as much as I can���t identify with their perspective they can���t comprehend mine.

I deserve to be a half century. Emotionally, I feel my best, though I am not anywhere near the physical shape I���d like to be in.

I am a proud red AARP card carrying member (apparently there is a difference between the red and white cards). The red card is the “official” you have arrived at that age card. I immediately put it in my wallet and with pride! My salt and pepper tresses seem to be mounting a hostile takeover against my dark brown curls. I will not dye my hair because I am enthusiastic about every greyish silver strand growing in at the speed of light.

I do prefer to dress so as to camouflage the more challenging areas of my body. My upper body parts are well supported by expensive brassieres from Nordstrom, whose sales team advises about the most uplifting and flattering of undergarments. At the same time I realize these tangible imperfections are proof that babies were carried and nursed for months, leaving nothing physically or spiritually as it once was. Although gravity is working against me, when I look at my pumpkins, I could care less about the physical repercussions.

Some things about me that have not changed over the years are my being outspoken about wrongs I see. I have a strong appreciation for education, both formal and informal. I like social decorum whether that���s table manners, thank you notes or carrying one���s self with dignity. I have always cared deeply about everyone being treated with common courtesy no matter their station in life.

I like people to show me who they are — that way I can include them more in my life or eliminate them quickly from my inner circle. I have little patience for made up excuses. Just give it to me straight. I have zero tolerance for bigots, homophobic people or anti-Semites. I try to stand on principal, though I may fall short at times. For example, as a single parent, I could have greatly benefited from the low prices at Wal-Mart but even in desperate times, I refused to shop there because of how they treat their employees. I will quickly disassociate myself from blatantly unethical people who try to intentionally mislead others for their own gain. In my younger years I think things were harder for me to judge. Who I am today is not the person I was years ago.

I will not hesitate to cut people out of my life with swiftness and rarely look back. What has evolved over the years, is that I am more tactful in how I pick and choose whom to spend time with. Often there are no announcements made, it is more of a quiet slipping away.

Leah and I like being at home, though we enjoy traveling, and we relish our time alone as a couple. It has upset a few people in the past that didn���t understand that about us. Leah and I actually like each other, as people. We wish we worked together again as we once did. In our first year of marriage, we were trapped in the house for a four-day blizzard, all alone, and we couldn’t have been happier. We understand each other���s strengths and areas that need some improvement. Sometimes we meet after work to have a leisure dinner alone, to chat about our day at one of our favorite restaurants, just because. There is something so gratifying in taking time just for us.

These days, I am even more crystal clear with those in my life on what is acceptable behavior to me, where I might have given more leeway years ago. I have divorced (twice), which comes with its own sense of humiliation of failure and choosing the wrong mate, been completely financially decimated and left alone to die at the hands of my estranged husband, but I still take each day as it comes. If I ever wallow at life���s curve balls it���s for a very short time.

I am embracing getting older but I always have. I listen a lot more even if I don���t always take the advice given. I am comfortable in my own skin though this new endeavor of becoming a writer is my only true trepidation. If I had known I would one day be attempting to venture into the literary world, I would have paid closer attention in my classes.

One lesson that seemed to take a long time for me to accept is the reality that people rarely show who they genuinely are in the beginning. In the initial phases of new bosses or jobs, romantic partners or new friendships, why not be truthful? Invariably the truth does come out, whether someone has been ostensibly candid or not.

In the last decade or so, I have always valued the opportunity to make informed decisions. What���s wrong with making the specifics known? Am I the only one who does? I lay it all out, up front. My oldest child once said, ���Mom who does that?��� Well, I do. I see it as preventing myself from ever hearing someone say: ���I thought������ or ���I was told������ I like to know where I stand and I like others to know too.

I am looking forward to this birthday that is still eight months away like no other birthday before it. I have been at my very lowest in life often over these 49 years and I plan to continue to enjoy every single day that I have with my loved ones. I realized long ago, that life can end in an unexpected moment, especially when it was almost forcibly taken from me. None of us know what tomorrow brings.

As I grow closer to that wonderful pentacle of 50 years old, I hope my children will remember a few of the things I have tried to instill. There have been many pieces of advice over the years but most of these I seem to be the only one saying them. Or, am I the only one saying them out loud?

Here’s a little food for thought for you too:

1) What���s wrong with embracing getting older? Don’t we deserve to celebrate the benefits of experience?

2) Why do people feel we must forgive in order to move on? We don���t.

3) It���s okay to cut people out of our lives if it is necessary for our better emotional health; just do it – you will feel better for it.

4) Give your children your all because the stakes are extremely high and still, there are no guarantees.

5) Always follow your gut. That inner voice is usually right.

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