The exams were over and the vacation was on, so we had lots of time to enjoy it in different ways. One of the best things about RCF colony was that it had a club. A big two storied building stood with big bold steel plated letters 'RCF GYMKHANA' on the centre, and a big ground with lush green outfield in front looked elegant. Different types of sports activities were held in the club. The ground floor of the club was divided into a badminton court, table tennis, snookers, poker and a gym. The right side of the upper floor had two big rooms. The plate fixed on their respective doors read 'Home team' and 'Guest Team'. The door on the left side read 'Head of Gymkhana' and a name plate which mentioned Mr. Austin Cutino. Behind the club's building was a beautiful swimming pool. Overall it was a great place where not only the sportsmen who represented RCF but also the employees and their families could benefit.

One pleasant morning, in the midst of November, the impact of winter was at the fullest when the climate turned super cool. We decided to go for swimming. Some swim to reduce weight, some swim to maintain weight, some take it as a sport while we were there to heat our eyes, as watching beautiful babes is a pleasure but watching beautiful babes and that too in swimming costumes is pleasure at the best.
"Guys I am afraid of water. I can't swim. Listen, let's go back. Why torture ourselves in this cold weather? Can't you see the way we are shivering?"It was Somu as usual, whose black body shone with the drops of water as he came out from the shower. He wore blue shorts and looked as if he was ready to climb a coconut tree.
"Shut up anna. Can't you bear something to get something? Check out the babes' dude. Oh there she goes, a perfect summer salt as we call. "
We tried to spot some beautiful bodies that stood outside pulling their wet costumes out of the uncomfortable place.

Besides the beauties, we also had sore eyes trying to avoid looking at the fat aunties with their fat spilling out of their swimming costumes. God knows from where they get the guts to show their portly bodies. May be it's their husbands' fault who encourage them and appreciate them out of fear. Not only the oversized women but also the pot bellied pregnant uncles spoiled the atmosphere with their nine month old tummies and covered with black and white hair on whole body.

The water disturbed forming circles as a beautiful girl jumped inside. We all kept on staring at her. She was indeed very beautiful. In fact she was so beautiful that we would have felicitated her with a crown and saffron belt with a title of Miss Universe.
"That is what I call a real beauty," I expressed.
Somu removed his soda bottle spectacles from his kit bag to have a proper look.
"That's true friends. Beauty doesn't go beyond this. That's what I call beauty at its best," said Somu as he rubbed his wet eyes and wore the glasses, pushing his face a bit forward .
"Guys I am diving into the pool. Look she went to that corner," Somu said as he prepared to dive into the pool.
"Anna wait… Can you swim?"
"And the answer is 'No'," Vicky said stopping him from jumping into the pool.
"Are you aware about the depth of the water where she is swimming?"I added.
"No! How much?" Somu asked.
"25 feet deep," I answered.
Somu's height was such that he could have easily drowned even in four feet, which was the lowest level.
"Let me drown myself. I want to go to her. I guess this is my first sight of love. Leave me, leave my hand Vicky," Somu insisted.
First we thought it was like some joke, which often happened in Somu's life but we were wrong. He pulled off his hand and ran towards the point.
"Bryan run… catch him before he commits suicide for an unknown girl."
I ran behind him and held him tightly before he tried to jump.

"Stop you moron. Is this a way to impress someone? Don't act like a nut. Listen to what I am saying," I tried to hold him tight as he struggled hard to get off.
"What Bryan? Tell me quickly." He stopped for a while.
"Let's plan up something, something which may impress her in some way or the other."
"Bryan is right Somu. By doing this stupid act you will gain nothing but lose your chance if any," Vicky said as he placed his hand over Somu's shoulder.
"See what I think is, she is new in our colony as we haven't seen her before, and if so, the chances are she might come regularly to the club for swimming," I said placing my hand on the other shoulder. For a second I thought our hands were on wrong area. It should have been on Somu's neck pressing it hard unless Somu dropped this stupid idea of expecting the impossible. But we had to help him as we were his best friends.
"Ok if you say so then I will cancel the plan. But in any case I want this girl as my girlfriend and you both promise to help me."
Somu had calmed a bit and the drops of water on his body had evaporated.
"Now let her swim in the deep and you come with us there in the 4 feet. We will teach you so that you became a champ at swimming and could impress her the next time," I said as I put a tube through Somu's head.
"C'mon Somu get down."

We were inside the water; believe me the water was super cool. We shivered as we floated on it. Somu stood watching us before he dared to come down.
All of a sudden watching that beautiful girl swimming swiftly inside the deep water, Somu got charged up as if a 400-volt charger point had been inserted inside his back hole. He removed the tube and threw it off and executed a full stretched dive into the water.
"SPLASH."
The water splashed and the pool manager kept on staring at Somu. I was worried if he may pull Somu out of the pool objecting against the water turning black if his colour may fade.
"Oh Fuck… ooh ooh …save me, Bryan, Vicky save me," Somu screeched.
We tried to fish him out of water and he cried, "Not me, I am ok, but look there."
He pointed at a distance.
"Where Anna?"
We saw blue shorts floating in the water. We wondered for a second where we had seen it before. Then suddenly it struck. It was Somu's loose shorts, which had come out because of that stylist dive which meant Somu was totally nude inside the water. I visualized four or five girls along with that beautiful girl going into coma after watching Somu's nude body.
"Please Bryan, bring it to me."
Though we could not control our laughter, we managed to get it for him. Now the question was how the unstable Somu will wear the shorts inside the water.
"Vicky you hold his one hand from below the shoulders while I hold the other," I advised.
We held Somu while after a bit of a struggle he managed to wear it. Somu kept on thinking whom he should blame for this the stylish dive, the beautiful girl or the loose shorts.
"Thank you friends for helping me, now let me start with the learning part," Somu said holding the steel bar on the edge as he tried hard to keep himself afloat in 4 feet water.
"Do one thing Anna. Hold the rod with both your hands, and paddle with your legs,"
Vicky said as we left him alone and went for a round.
"OUCH…What nonsense? Can't you see, you duffer!"
An uncle who was swimming past Somu screamed out in pain. In enthusiasm to swim, Somu had kicked his nose so badly that it started to bleed.
"Sorry, sorry uncle, I did not do it purposely."
Somu tried to defend himself. That fat uncle would have killed Somu in one slap.
"What do you mean by sorry, you idiot. Guards just get this stupid boy out of the pool."
The guards threw Somu out of the pool while the uncle pressed his nose, which was bleeding non stop. Soon the injured uncle was taken for medical aid which gave us a chance to slip out of there.

We sprinted straight to Hariyali and halted for breakfast. Hariyali was a small restaurant near the club. It was surrounded with bushes. Tables and seats made up of cement concrete were fixed in the open shade with huge trees. There you could eat without being aware that a crow could shit from above. Apart from this extra ingredient in the dish, the small place was known for its delicious food. You can call it a typical breakfast corner where eatables like omelette pav, missal pav, vada pav, bhaji pav supported with hot green chillies and a cutting chai (tea) did all the magic. It was a place where you can fill your stomach without spending too much.
We tried to collect our breaths after a 100 meters sprint and settled ourselves.
"What is the order shahabji? "
A small boy, hardly eight to nine years old, stood in front of us. His half pant and T shirt with Michael Jackson's picture imprinted on it were so dirty that they looked unwashed for about a month. In short, he had replaced the original colour of the clothes with the colour of Michael Jackson's skin. He had placed a cloth on his shoulder, which was dirtier than his shirt. However, his dirty clothes did not affect his natural beauty. With fair complexion, small eyes, smooth hair he looked sweet and innocent as he carefully placed three glasses of water on the table.
We eyed the boy over the edge of the glasses, which were emptied in one sip.
"What's your name? Are you new here?" I asked as I kept the empty glass on the table.
"Yes shahbji. I came here just four days ago." Innocence reflected on his face as he answered.
"Where have you come from?" Vicky asked just for the sake of confirmation as it was easy to make out from his face and accent that he was from Nepal and not from China or Japan.
" Pahadi shahab, Nepal," he answered.
"Ok bring one missal and ten pav (bread) along with three cuttings," I ordered, not because of our love towards each other by eating in one plate but because of the fear of washing utensils after non payment of the bill.
"Wait," Somu stopped the boy and he turned back.
"Anything more, shahab?" the boy asked in his innocent tone.
"Do you study?" asked Somu. The boy paused for a while and then replied, "No Shahab."
We would've given him the same answer, if the boy had asked us the same question in return.
Hearing the boy's answer, Somu looked so distressed that he may have asked the boy to go to school on his behalf whereas he would have washed the plates for him. We thought Somu would have perfectly suited that role.
"What the hell did you do in the pool Somu? Why did the guards throw you out?" I asked with curiosity.
"And what about that uncle who was bleeding and uttering all the bad words on earth?" Vicky completed for me.
"It's all because of both of you. You left me alone in the corner asking me to paddle as hard as possible."
"So what?" I asked.
"I kicked that uncle's nose so hard that it started bleeding."
"What the fuck are you saying Somu? Thank God we all ran from there, otherwise that giant would have killed us," Vicky said.
The boy balanced two plates one of Missal and other of ten pavs, which we took from his hand.
"What's your name?" Somu asked.
"Chotu," he answered.
Before I could put the piece of bread dipped in missal into my mouth, I saw the same uncle entering the gate after parking his car. He looked funny with two cotton balls inserted in both the nostrils.
"Fuck! Somu…" Vicky cried.
Somu was about to turn.
"Stop, don't turn" I said watching towards the gate.
"Why, what's the matter?" Somu asked.
"You are dead Somu. That same uncle is here."
The bread fell off Somu's hand as he heard this.
"What? What did you say? Is it some kind of a joke Vicky?"
"I swear Somu. He is the same uncle whom you kicked. His nose seems ok; he has inserted cotton balls into his nose, but he looks very angry," said Vicky.



TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT READ THE COMICAL SAGA



Thanks to the drama created by Somu in the pool, we were no longer allowed to visit the pool. So we decided to change our timings of visiting the club.
Evenings at the club's ground was always a pleasure. It was almost five in the evening, the weather had cooled down a bit. The light was still bright, expected to fade a little early as the days were shorter than nights. The noise of boys playing cricket and football echoed the ground in full volume. Men and women of different age groups were seen jogging around the ground, whereas a few set of people approximately aging between fifty and sixty stood in a circle with both their hands up and kept on laughing in full volume without any reason. They were those people who kept their laughter in a fixed deposit for years until they realized that it was the time to erupt. We checked for Pooja's father amongst them, but I guess he had a few more years until his deposit matured.
We sat on the steps outside the ground surrounded by old men and women who could neither walk nor jog. They had their huge group of friends, the unity of which was such that they can even kill Mike Tyson in one blow. They discussed various things like how their daughter in law influenced their son to protest against them and blah blah blah.

TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT READ THE COMICAL SAGA