Bruce Rolff - Rising Soul

I haven't posted in quite a while. Life's been messy and complicated lately. My mom passed two weeks ago after a long, agonizing battle with Alzheimer's Disease. Especially around the Holidays, coping with this kind of grief is a challenge. My dad (who was married to Mom for more than 60 years) is struggling mightily, as are all of us. In truth, I'm utterly conflicted: I've watched my mom slip through our desperate embrace for years now, disappearing in slow motion. My dad (with considerable wisdom) has described it as "the long goodbye." I'm going to miss her terribly... but, in many ways, I've been missing her terribly for years. And -- on some level -- I'm relieved that her suffering has ended, that she's finally free.

So here goes nothing. I've had a vision stuck in the middle of my mind's eye since my mom's passing, something sad but uplifting that I simply haven't been able to escape. I decided to try to capture it, although I'm sure I won't do it justice. I'm no poet -- that will probably become obvious -- but I've tried to express what I see through my own inelegant attempt at verse. (Call it group therapy via blog.) If you have a loved one struggling with, or stolen by, the scourge of Alzheimer's, I sincerely hope this brings you a bit of consolation.

For Barbara Burt:


After endless, aching years of battling fiercely,
My mom at last succumbs to the demon ALZ.
It is a cruel, callous, and relentless enemy,
Smothering its victims in fog-shrouded misery.
Its spiny tentacles entwine the mind, ensnare the soul.
It slices slivers from your self until you are unrecognizable.
My mother dreaded this. She told me of her terror at this fate.
She exercised mind and body to delay it; measured every drop she drank and bite she ate.
She did everything she could – and still it claimed her in the end;
Siphoning her essence, stealing her from family and friends.

But I have news for you, remorseless ALZ:
You didn't win at all. She was adored, and now she's free!
I see her, shining brighter than the sun, rising high into an azure sky.
Her laughter musical, she dances on the clouds that drizzle liquid joy.
Her spirit soars, escaping Dark's dominion and again made whole.
She swirls and sweeps around us, whispering that life was rare and rich and beautiful!
She shatters suffering, weaves her story into vibrant tapestries of celebration.
She blazed a brilliant trail – leaving memories to be our salve and our salvation.
You tried to cage her in your impenetrable shell, but it became a chrysalis.
Now she emerges. Silken wings brush against our cheeks to leave a phantom kiss.

My deepest sympathies to any family afflicted by the curse of Alzheimer's. If you're struggling to cope, to comprehend, I can also recommend this brilliant novel that explains the experience with clarity and compassion:

Happy Holidays, y'all. I wish you health and peace!

#SFWApro