Hi, teen friend.Full disclosure, I’m at least thirty years older than you are. I’m Gen X. I graduated high school in the 1980’s. My kids are in middle and high school now, and you all are living in a vastly different world than my friends and I did when we were where you are. I would not be in your shoes for all the tea in China or all the coffee in all the Starbucks in all the world.I’m sure it’s not news to you that anxiety, depression, and suicide rates are skyrocketing among youth. Maybe that’s related in part to families breaking down at staggering rates? You probably have way fewer friends living with both biological parents than I did.I got exposed to pornography via a couple of unfortunate events where the gatekeepers failed to pay close enough attention. Your gatekeepers have overwhelmingly abandoned the gates altogether. You’ve been irradiated with pornography and sex messaging via music, TV, movies, social media, and at least 90% of the advertising that’s become almost as ubiquitous as the air we breathe and the food we eat.You’re stressed about a future that’s so much less certain than we thought it was three or more decades ago when our primary fears revolved around Russian nuclear bombs that never ended up materializing anyway. Your worries (tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt to get a college degree, your family disintegrating or disintegrating even more, possible destruction of the planet we stand on) are so much more present, tangible, and realistic than most of ours were.I wish I could wrap my arms around you, tell you it’s going to be okay, then transport you back a few decades to when a kid could have a childhood where his or her biggest problem was whether Mom was going to serve that godawful tuna casserole again tonight. (My friend’s mom actually put tuna on a pizza one time. A PIZZA.)But now more and more elementary, middle, and high schools are expanding their sex education programs to include things like Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (an HIV-prevention drug you can take as long as you weight at least 77 pounds, i.e., you’re an eight-year-old), the joys (not even) of anal sex, and encouraging kids to attempt to transition to the opposite sex (behind Mom’s and Dad’s back, if you prefer). Off-the-rails school boards and administrators argue that kids are having sex anyway and they need to know all this stuff so they can keep themselves safe and happy and sexually self-actualized.But I’m sure this will come as no surprise to you either: a recent Barna Group reportfound that current sex education programs are making teens feel pressured to have sex. The report also revealed that “if teens are sexually active, they feel more pressure to have sex by their boyfriend or girlfriend (37%) than do their abstinent peers (16%).”These are Duh findings to a lot of us. “Duh” was a word we used back in the day to indicate that a statement was so obvious, even uttering it smacked of idiocy.So I want to tell you something that the other elderfolk in your life may not be telling you: Abstinence from sex is not only possible, it’s actually a great option that real people really do choose. If someone tells you otherwise, they’re either deceived or trying to deceive you.Your life and happiness will not be hampered if you don’t have sex while you’re a teenager. In fact, I am completely, 100%, unequivocally convinced that your life and happiness—now and in the future—will be greatly improved if you do not.Let’s not even address morality or health statistics. You’re a smart kid with the internet at your fingertips. Do your own research on those things if you want to. I’m just going to look at how abstinence from sex can reduce your overall stress and anxiety. When you abstain from sex you do not have to deal withSTDs, several of which have staged a dramatic comebackin recent years.unwanted pregnancy, which organizations like Planned Parenthood are unethically trying to encourage, because a lot of money is made performing abortions.the life-long awareness that the child you aborted would now be one year, three years, ten years, or twenty-five years old. You never forget.acute emotional entanglements which result from the extreme high of falling in love and wanting to be knit physically, emotionally, and spiritually to this person for the rest of your life, and the resulting bone-marrow-deep and staggering pain when that relationship ends (because most high school relationships do).HIV/AIDS, and sitting in a doctor’s office, waiting for her to come in and give you the results of your HIV test after you find out one of your partners lied about his/her sexual history.the powerful distractions of infatuation and sex which take time and attention away from your schoolwork, hobbies, and other important relationships.the inherent jealousies and dramas that explode when your partner becomes someone else’s, or someone else’s partner becomes yours.pressure from a boyfriend or girlfriend because, “You’ve had sex before, so what’s the problem with doing it again? Do you not love me or something?” (“I’ve never done this before and I’m not ready” is a powerful position to hold onto.)I want to tell you one more thing about sex during the dating years, which you may have never heard before because not too many people recognize or talk about it:Having serial sexual partners teaches you how to do one thing very, very well: You learn how to get over a broken heart and how to care a little less the next time, so your heart doesn’t get broken as badly again.Every person with whom you have sex keeps a part of you when they leave. The first one takes the biggest part. The next one takes a little less. After a while you don’t have anything else to give to or take from anyone except momentary physical gratification. You gradually lose your ability to have a meaningful, trust-based, soul-to-soul relationship with another person.I want so much more for you than that. There is so much more waiting for you than that. Don’t settle for less.And if choosing abstinence makes you a social pariah (which it probably won’t) or makes you look strange, weird, or frigid—so what? Look around at our society. It’s sick, and getting sicker all the time. Being labeled an anomaly is a compliment in this culture, especially since your choices are going to lead to vastly better outcomes for yourself.All you have to lose by abstaining from sex is occasional, fleeting episodes of physical pleasure. But what you lose by having sex as a teenager is life-destroying and heartbreaking.And that’s the truth, which is something my generation has largely failed to share with you.