As 2012 has recently been ushered in, now is the time when we reflect upon new beginnings, new adventures, and new learning, as well as those things in our lives that we plan to change or eliminate—in other words, our list of New Year's Resolutions.  Fueled with enthusiasm and a sense of optimism, we compile that list with the best of intentions. Unfortunately, we sometimes waver along the way, and our desired results become almost predictability fleeting and our efforts short-lived.

There can be many reasons for that outcome.  Perhaps the items on the list are too grandiose, or beyond our ability to accomplish.  Maybe our list is based on what we should and ought to do, or wanna' want to achieve, meaning that we haven't really owned or embraced those behavioral changes.  It could be that we are a tiny bit lazy.  However, I would like to suggest another possible reason for our waning commitment, and that has to do with our choice of words.

In my own experience, I've noticed that my "making a list of resolutions" is not nearly as strong as "I resolve to do this…."  "I will" is more forceful than "I want to," in the same way that "I know" carries a bit more strength than "I believe."  That extra weight I'm carrying is much more likely to disappear if I say, "I'm determined to lose ten pounds," rather than "I need to go on a diet."  Thus, for myself, when my language is concrete and assertive, my commitment is more powerful.

This year, I will practice what I preach by embracing three of the more difficult behavioral changes—for me, anyway—about which I wrote in my book—Saving Civility: 52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude and Attitude for a Polite Planet.  Since I sometimes have a slight proclivity to be an Eeyore, I will "Cultivate Optimism," so that I more cheerfully and effectively manage my thoughts.  This journey is certainly going to be easier if I remember to "Laugh At Least Once A Day," guaranteed to lighten anyone's perspective.  My toughest challenge, however, is to "Practice Gratitude," which is actually a life-long path, helping me to not only learn greater appreciation, but acceptance.  Therefore, I hereby resolve…and by the way, I really need to lose ten pounds.