James Bonds' Secret
James Bond is in a printing factory, surrounded by bad guys, all shooting at him. He works his way through their gunfire, taking them out one by one. There's one last guy, and he's a toughy-- he's been giving James problems for a little while now. Bond pops him, and the guy falls into a running printing press, and a moment later, blood is smeared on freshly printed paper. James cocks and eyebrow and says "They'll print anything these days."
Who the hell is he talking to? Nobody's around to hear him. You just know he goes to work the next day, talking about how witty he was...
...So then I said, "They'll print anything these days..."
Shut the fuck up, James, you didn't say that. You're already so damned good-looking you've seduced and banged my wife twice, but you're not also funny on top of that. You can't have everything at once. Asshole.
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