My miniature greyhound is confused and proceeded to ask me a few questions about the Coronavirus. Naturally, our discussions devolved into the obligatory verbose abyss.

Rex: What's up with the rush on toilet paper?
Me: I don't know, son...people get weird when things they can't control happen. It's a built-in human reaction.
Rex: I'm human, but let me show you how I manage this problem.
Me: Okay.
Rex: Open the backdoor.
Me: *opens backdoor*
Rex: *drops a deuce in the back yard* Also Rex: *runs back in the house* Also Rex: *drags butt across our carpet*
Me: Stop it, you nasty little bastard!
Rex: Daddy, I'm trying to save the world and you're cursing me.

Rex: Daddy, what is 'social distancing?'
Me: We have to maintain a one to two meter distance between two people to keep from getting one another sick.
Rex: Scratch my back. Yeah, yeah...right there...you know what Rexy likes.

Rex: I don't have hands so I am exempt from hand washing.
Me: Shut up.

Rex: You've made sure I don't bring home any sexually transmitted diseases because I don't have testicles.
Me: Dude, I've already told you I had nothing to do with that.
Rex: Whatever, Daddy.

Rex: Will this Corona-thing interfere with my wet food supply?
Me: So far, no, but I have no idea what the future may hold.
Rex: Give me "futures" address. I'll bite his penis.
Me: Dude, what is wrong with you?
Rex: A man has to eat!

Rex: Can we eat T-bone if food supplies get low?
Me: I can't believe you would consider eating your brother!
Rex: We ain't blood kin!
Me: Your backstraps are looking tasty.
Rex: Don't make me get the .380 and cap yo' ass.
Me: Boy, watch your mouth!