Seven years ago I spent over a month in isolation during radiotherapy treatment. For the first ten days I was confined to a sealed hospital room after popping a radioactive pill. No one was allowed near me, meals was served through a letterbox, everything was wrapped in cling film and visitors were instructed to stay behind a lead screen to reduce exposure. There was no WiFi or phone signal so binge watching Netflix, FaceTiming family or scrolling through social media wasn’t an option. Audiobooks and podcasts weren’t a thing then either. My only interaction was a sterile visit from the physicist every morning to check radiation levels, otherwise it was cold turkey.

Once my levels dropped and I was allowed to leave hospital and was told to physically distance myself from people for up to another three weeks to reduce risk. I couldn’t do any of the things I missed the most like hug my mum, play with my nieces and nephews, go for a walk in the woods or visit friends. Life was carrying on around me whilst I was stuck in time.

I didn’t realise back then, but that experience taught me so much about myself. Lots of it has parallels with what we’re all going through now, during this pandemic.

Here’s some of the lessons I learned: 

1) Deprivation builds appreciation: whenever something or someone is taken from us we build a deep sense of gratitude in anticipation of its return. Deprivation helps us realise (very quickly) what is really important. We rarely force ourself into that hardships that offer us this kind of perspective and clarity, so when its thrust upon on its helpful to recognise its significance. We often find that when life is stripped back it’s the simplest things that we treasure most, and the building blocks are in place to reset with those values in mind. Everything else is just habit and privilege.  

2) Breath brings calm: deep breathing is one of the most powerful tools I have developed to deal with anxiety. It’s hugely undervalued but when simple techniques it can help us cope with highly stressful situations. As you take a deep breath it signals your brain to relax, which then relays this signal back to your body… Try it.

Take a long, slow breath in through your nose…
Fill your lungs from the bottom to the top and hold for your breath for three full seconds…
Exhale slowly through pursed lips (keeping control of the breath) and relax the muscles in your jaw, face, shoulders and stomach as you release…
Do this five times and I promise you’ll feel better. 

3) Mastering discipline instills good habits: every aspect of our lives out of synch right now. We’re worried about family, friends, finances, food and the future - and that’s a normal response - so don’t feel bad for it. However we need to create structure and build rhythm into our days to feel happier - the science says so. Now is not the time to mount pressure on yourself with overcommitments to learn new languages, knit, bake or anything else. It’s the time to slowly build up good habits through disciplined behaviour. In hospital my aim was simple: set an alarm and get up at the same time every day, shower, eat and read my books. The structure to my days evolved naturally and I gravitated towards things that interested me. I wrote more, I listened to music, I thought a lot and slowly got comfortable with the corners of my mind. Go easy on yourself, but try and instil some routine.

4) Tuning out really means tuning in: we live mostly through screens these days - laptop, phone, TV, tablet - and we’re consuming huge amounts of information that it’s overwhelming… yet we don’t realise the impact its having as we barely allow ourselves time to think. Instead we race through the days. When solitude is imposed on us - like now - we can can feel quite daunting. It’s hard to adjust pace and allow ourselves to delve into the untapped corners of our mind. But it’s in these moments of stillness without distraction that we learn so much about ourselves. Tuning out brings us back to the present. It creates awareness and appreciation for things we usually miss because we’re not looking. Once you disconnect you reconnect with yourself and life starts to present itself in full colour, high definition again.

5) Creative outlets are cathartic: feeling bored is OK… in fact, it’s a good thing because it will route you towards what genuinely interests you. Embrace it. I got the idea to start this blog whilst in hospital as I gave my mind time to wander and get creative. Writing has always been my way to make sense of the world or situations that I’m struggling to deal with. I write letters to people but never send them. I write blogs but never share them. Often writing is a way to process feelings that would otherwise be ignored. Whatever your outlet is - exercise, painting, drawing, meditating, dancing, cooking - or anything else, now is the time to finally indulge in it without feeling guilty. We often prioritise the unimportant trivial parts of life over the things that make us happiest and create the space to learn more about who we really are. Take this time to shift the power back.

There’s no denying that this is an incredibly scary time but take comfort in the fact you are not alone. The entire world is going through the same rollercoaster of emotions and we can all learn from and lean on each other for support because we all understand. These are the strange things we should find thanks in at a time life this. We really are all in together, that’s the only way it will resolve itself.

What have you learned about yourself in the last couple of weeks? I’d love to know any more thoughts on this, and I’m sure other readers would too.