In case you don’t know, Twitter is this new icon of our technological age wherein we can tell the whole world, in 140 characters, what we are doing at any instant.

All religions have their Anti-Figure (the most famous example being the Anti-Christ). Twitter is the antithesis of Zen. I mean, instead of enjoying the Zen moment of a subway ride, you decide to twitchily Twitter to the world about the strange man clinging to the window outside and trying to attract your attention. Twitter is a tool of the Anti-Buddha.

Several colleagues have taken to twitterizing their novels.

I, on the other hand, have decided to write Twitter versions of famous novels. Remember, I have only 140 characters in which to do this.

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GREAT GATSBY

Nick: Jay, you have all I want. J: True, old sport. Let’s party! J has affair, Daisy’s husband kills him. N: Lesson learned.

HARRY POTTER series:

H: I’ll kill you, Voldemort! V: Tis you who’ll die! (Stuff happens. Harry dies). V: Oh joy! H: Not so fast fool, take that! (The end)

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ULYSSES
Bloom: Awake, dear! Molly: Letter from Boylan! Bloom, eating liver: Damn that Boylan. Molly, in bed again: All I ever said was yes.

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TWILIGHT
Bella: Oh Edward you’re so irresistible! E: Get away, I want to eat you. B: I love you! E: Me too, but I still want to eat you

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Get more on Richard Lewis at SimonandSchuster.com