One of my closest friends both loves me and cannot stand me simultaneously. (Come to think of it, several of my friends love me and kind not stand me simultaneously. I am Schrodinger’s friendship?)

Anyway, the reason they love me is because I am loyal and adoring and the human equivalent of a chonky Golden Retriever. This also the reason they loathe me. These friends are all cat-people … and  by that I do not mean they prefer cats as pets. I mean these friends are angry cats in human form. They...