To anyone who’s known me or followed me or even seen me around, they’ve known it’s been one hell of a year.

I have never made new year resolutions. To me, they seem baseless and pointless and honestly, a bit of a lost cause.

But the person I was at the starting of 2019, wouldn’t recognise the person I am [image error]now.

You see, the thing is, you never know how strong you are until being strong is literally the only option. You think you wouldn’t be able to survive something going in, but you come out of it and you look back and miraculously see that you’ve actually made it through with all your limbs intact.

You look at the floor behind you and see your blood smeared across it and the fresh wounds across your skin but you also see the scabs beginning to form – because wounds heal. Time heals. Fresh air and therapy and hot chocolate – they heal. And most importantly, family heals.

So, walking into 2020, I have made a couple of resolutions and as a tribute to myself for being alive after all that has happened this year, I am going to try really hard to see them through.

This year is about kindness. It’s about healing from 2019, it’s about self-love and giving to people in need. I’m dead sure 2020 has its own set of challenges, but I’d like to believe I’ve come out strong enough to face them now.

It’s about focusing on why I chose to be here, and realising that people are truly fleeting. Nobody cares – and I love that. People will talk about you no matter what you choose to do – do not waste your time dwelling on them. People will leave no matter how often they assured you they wouldn’t, do not dwell on them either.

One thing’s for sure – I still hope. Against all odds, all reason. I still hope there will be a fairy tale, but before that happens, I hope I find myself and build myself into the person I one day look up to as a role model.

God, I have learnt so many lessons this year.

People will call your authenticity crazy, will talk about you as soon as you leave the table, they will kick you when you’re down and then laugh at you behind manicured nails. Trust me, walk away.

So here’s to everyone who has had trouble breathing this year; this is for the wounded, the healing, the black sheep, the abandoned, the old souls. This is for me.

Happy new year everyone! Let’s hope 2020 is a much better friend to us than 2019 was.