Back in May when George Flyod was brutally murdered, I was faced with the harsh reality of my privilege. I realized that I treated race with the washed out whiteness of ‘love’ and ‘faith.’ I loved everyone, so everyone was the same. If only this beautiful, religious bubble were true. Everyone is not treated the same, especially not in America. My privilege of choosing blindness to color, literally blinded me from the truth. But as the proverbial scales fell from my eyes, I could not return to my blindness any more than I could return to thinking that all people were treated the same. Racism permeates every level of society. It is shoved so close to our faces that we miss it until we miraculously catch a glimpse. We are seeped in it from the day we are born to the day we die. And it is literally deadly. I studied history and was disgusted by the ‘antiquated’ views and ‘outdated’ treatment from the dawn of our country to the Civil Rights movement and I was grateful that our country had outgrown that way of thinking. You can see how my privilege completely masked the reality of the world I was living in. Not only do those ‘antiquated’ thoughts and actions continue to exist, but they exist to an overwhelming degree. I have been reading and acting and changing since that day in May because, for me, I could never go back to ignorance or tolerance or silence. I wrote the poem below that very first day I connected the dots. Now hearing the devastating news of Breonna Taylor’s complete lack of justice, it seems just as relevant. We need to change, the systems need to change, and we need to stop the senseless violence and hate that’s taught to us from our infancy generation after generation. It starts with us and it continues with educating, speaking out, and voting. Let us do our part to grow and change – many precious lives depend on it.

What do I say? by Abigail Laura

What do I say to my boys

As they watch me digest the news

The news that is engulfing our lives

Ripping us apart

Showing our weaknesses

Taking over our thoughts

I say the truth:

I’m not doing enough

This is wrong

We must change

We’ll start right now

By starting, we’ll take one day at a time

One moment of realization at a time

Reading

Talking

Donating

Educating

Setting an example

To change the next generation

As they grow

We’ll start with us

We won’t forget in a week

We will change

Slowly and surely

Because once you see things as they are

You can’t stay silent

And you can’t stay the same.

Pictured above are my two sons with one of the many books I have gotten to teach lessons of race, kindness, bravery, and love.