Child has fledged (to University) and, for the first time in 18 years, He Who Must Not Be Named and I have a childless house.

In this first week of empty nesting, I’ve discovered some interesting things:

* Despite someone’s protestations to the contrary, Child was not the source of all curious and offensive sounds and smells in our house. (Now, evidently, the bunnies “did it.”)
* Child was also not the (only) reason a) we can’t have nice things, b) there are always crumbs on the countertops even though I really did wipe everything down after I did the dishes, c) the light was left on, the window was left open, the toilet seat was left up (I never did believe this one), and d) the empty container of milk, etc. was put back in the fridge instead of the recycling bin. For all the times you’ve been falsely accused, Child, apologies from your madre.
* Child was, however, the source of a truly staggering amount of laundry. I’ve run one load since she’s been gone and that’s only because I was running out of socks.
* Although hubby and I didn’t sleep well the first two nights after she left (we both felt the house was “too quiet”), we’re now getting a surprising amount of uninterrupted sleep. For those of you who are still suffering through the years of night-waking, being the midnight mom-taxi, and 2 a.m. teen munchies, there is light at the end of the tunnel.
* While FaceTime calls and trips to visit Child (who is only an hour away) eat into this somewhat, I do have more free time now that we are empty nesters. Some of this has translated into very enjoyable conversations with He Who Must Not Be Named (we’ve rediscovered a number of things we like to talk about that don’t involve Child), but it’s also resulted in a surge of productivity at work and in my writing.
* There’s this thing called porn and, when you can watch it without fear of discovery, it’s a surprising source of inspiration. I predict both our “adult time” and my written sex scenes getting a lot raunchier. 😀

Those are my initial thoughts on having a child-free home. Yes, I do miss her. But, wow, the freedom of being an empty nester! Here’s to many more nights of uninterrupted sleep.

(Image courtesy of pieonane from Pixabay.)