Writing a book is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. Literally. And here’s why. When I started writing Finding Life In Between, I wasn’t even going to call it Finding Life In Between. I planned to title the book Unwritten, and it was going to tell the stories of other people. My plan was to interview people while I traveled, and talk to them about love stories and their relationships. Basically, I was planning to write a qualitative analysis about other love, longevity and relationship satisfaction. My internal graduate student loved the idea. However, when I wrote the book it took on a life of its own. It went through multiple iterations to become what it is today. It is nothing like what I originally intended it to be.

Writing a Book: First Drafts

When I finished the first draft of my manuscript, I gave it to three friends. My first friend loved it. She told me she laughed and cried and felt like we were having a real conversation over a bottle of wine. This gave me confidence. My second friend applauded my effort. She said it was a great, authentic read, and she pointed out some areas of cleanup. This gave me determination. My third friend was very direct. She told me that my manuscript was too difficult to read, it was too deeply personal, and that she didn’t finish it. This gave me a panic attack.

Writing a book is not for the faint of heart, and I learned this in those early stages. I needed the brutally honest feedback, and it fueled me to revise and rewrite and get clear on the message I was trying to send. I also needed to step into the awareness that my book is not and will never be for everyone. And that’s okay. That’s just part of the journey. During that time of reflection and editing, the pages continued to morph into something different, something better. I kept breathing life into the words. It felt good, but it didn’t yet feel right.

The Editor’s Turn

I went through the chapters a few more times. Then, I told my publisher I was afraid. I wasn’t sure if I should do this. Maybe writing a book was just too much. I didn’t know what to do. It felt too messy and too emotional. She told me to give her the most recent version, and she would have the editor give it a review. I turned it over. Several weeks went by, and I received the marked up version back from the editor.

At that point, I freaked out. My fear of the feedback paralyzed me to the point of avoidance. I convinced myself that writing a book was the dumbest idea I ever had. Despite the editor’s kind and supportive words in all of her emails and comments, I couldn’t find the courage to open the edited document for over a month. A MONTH! Finally, I built up the courage to face my fears, face her feedback, and dive in. And guess what. Her feedback was incredibly helpful. And she was nice about it. It actually wasn’t scary at all. The editor told me she thought I had found my calling and that this was my first book! Her encouragement gave me the confidence boost I needed to keep going.

After my revisions, I sent the edited manuscript back for her second read through. She made some additional minor suggestions. After reviewing and accepting the changes, we were DONE and I was thrilled. And scared. Again. I was afraid about releasing my vulnerability to the universe in the form of this book. I was afraid that maybe people would see and judge me for what I had written.

Fear and Inspiration

It was about that time that I had a conversation with my friend, Jody (check out our collab from August 2, 2020). I stumbled around my fears as we talked. He patiently listened. Then he said, “If you aren’t going to be fully transparent and vulnerable, then what’s the fucking point? Talking about the real stuff is what people need. That’s when you know there’s power and magic!” I believed him. Jody inspired me to stand in truth and embrace my authenticity, even if people didn’t like it or disagreed with me. I kept stepping forward in the process.

Cover Art

While all of this was happening, the graphic designer was designing the cover art. It looked great. I shared it on social media and got some great feedback. I was just waiting to hear from the publisher for next steps. What I didn’t know is that she was waiting for me. This pause in the process turned out to be a blessing.

Final Cover Art

For the sake of context and timing, it’s important to know that at about that time, the Minneapolis police officer murdered George Floyd. Everything seemed to stop. The entire world was in shock, and protests began in countries around the globe. As the momentum built, lots of Black Lives Matter signs and messages filled our social media reels. Friends across the country, and the world, marched for equity and justice.

As all of this was happening, I emailed my “final” manuscript to a few friends for their final feedback. One friend scheduled a call with me to discuss. She gave me some great ideas on content, which resulted in an additional chapter in the beginning of the book. And she also told me that the colors of the cover reminded her of the Black Lives Matter protest art, and that it was not representative of the contents of the book. As soon as she said it, I felt it. I knew that the cover art had to change. During this pause, the graphic designer worked up a new concept that felt softer and more reflective of the divine feminine. My friend’s feedback resulted in richer content and artwork that was much more in line with the spirit of the book. The changes were absolutely the right changes to make.

Writing a Book: Final Changes

My publisher asked if I would like a final proofread, and I said yes. We assumed that this would result in some “light” changes. Once the proofreading was complete, the suggestions came back as heavier edits rather than light changes. The biggest idea had to do with formatting.

As a result of the proofread, we agreed to divide Finding Life In Between into four sections. The first section is all about “The Winding Road” that led me to actually write this book. The second is about “Unpacking and Packing Up Real Life,” which tells some real life stories to set the context for the third section, “August Adventures.” The chapters in this section are all about the road trip I took that inspired the book, and other adventures that happened in the month of August. These are the stories that found me…the ones that were supposed to be Unwritten. The fourth section, called “Travel Notes,” includes a tear out, some journal prompts, and some final comments.

During the next phase of the journey, layout and design, the designer, publisher and I communicated about a few required changes that, unfortunately, we hadn’t caught earlier. I was devastated and thought the project would never be finished. I decided, again, that writing a book was the most ridiculous thing I ever tried to do. After a few days of reworking some things, there was progress and a solution. We had a final, final version.

Power and Magic

Finding Life In Between is a product of ideas and collaboration and evolution, and it’s so much better than what I originally intended for it to be. But it’s scary AF to know that my words and my experiences are going to be out there! That said, I’m okay with it. As Jody said, it’s my truth and I shouldn’t be afraid to shine a light on it. Launching my book even though I’m afraid is the least I can do to honor him. My brother recorded the audio version, and at one point, he was moved tears. Jody was right–there’s magic and power in sharing our truth.

Writing a book is scary AF. It is soul-baring work. And it’s important work. I believe that the message of my book will resonate with women who are experiencing life transitions, whether a career change, a divorce, a relationship transition, or just in the middle of actual life wondering omg who am I really and what the hell happens next? My hope is that Finding Life In Between let’s women know that they aren’t alone in the vulnerability of their truth. There is power in standing in the truth of our own stories. There’s healing in sharing our real life connections. My hope is that my book inspires more of us to share our own journeys to worthy, that we all open our arms and welcome ourselves home.

In closing…



Zoom Book Club

I’d be honored if you read my book and took the time to share your review on both Amazon and Goodreads. If you’re a member of a book club and choose Finding Life In Between for your group, schedule a call so we can arrange a Zoom book club/happy hour that works with my schedule.

I can’t wait to talk about and share all of our journeys together.

Book Club Discussion Guide

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Candy Leigh is a Women’s Empowerment Coach and Author. Schedule a complimentary discovery call if you’d like to partner with Candy for 1×1 coaching, book club discussions, or consulting/speaking engagements.

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