I hosted a baby shower for a friend recently, and struggled to find things to make a virtual shower feel fun. One common idea is a “mad lib”–collectively shout out random words to create nonsensical “advice” for the parents.

But most of the ones I found online were, frankly, crap. They were sexist or made fun or the pregnant person’s body or were really short.

So I wrote my own! It went pretty well, so I thought I’d share with you.

Mad Lib Baby Shower: Advice for New Parents

Your sweet little [vegetable] is almost here! We are so [emotion] for you! Your [adjective] friends wanted to give you the best advice, so here it all is:

Don’t forget to carry a [noun] and a [noun] in the diaper bag. You can save $[number] a [unit of time] by using [material] diapers!Be sure to wash with [smell] soap.If the baby won’t stop [verb ending in -ing], try to [verb]. You should have at least [number] of [plural nouns] at all times.If the baby is [temperature], be sure to [verb] them in [clothing item].Never [verb] a baby; call [person] if you need help.When baby cries, sing [song name]; it works every time!On tiring days, remember that you are [adjective]!

Here’s how that worked for us:

Your sweet little brussel sprout is almost here! We are so fearful for you! Your bubbly friends wanted to give you the best advice, so here it all is:

Don’t forget to carry a nipple and a hammer in the diaper bag. You can save $42 a second by using leather diapers! Be sure to wash with smoky soap.If the baby won’t stop smiling, try to crawl. You should have at least 16 handcuffs at all times.If the baby is 126 degrees, be sure to wiggle them in shoes.Never break a baby; call Elvis if you need help.When baby cries, sing Roar!; it works every time!On tiring days, remember that you are sticky!