***This is really different from my usual stuff; I just want to write something fun and wacky as I'm going through a tough time atm. Hope you enjoy, but if not, don't worry; my usual work is still ongoing!***


Chapter One
"I Used To Be a Straight-A Student; I Used to Be Cool" - Marina


“Ah, fuck! I told you I wouldn’t be good at this post apocalyptic shit!”

“Just shut up and move!” Anthony ordered as he came careening past me. He scooped low, his vice-like fingers wrapping around my bicep. I cursed as he yanked me down the corridor before I could snatch up the bag I’d dropped. Instead of yelling at him though, I shouted a big ol’ thanks as I caught sight of what was behind us.

It would have taken me only two seconds to pick up my bag, but that would have been two seconds too long.

Fifteen ugly-ass, eroding zombies bumbled down the hallway, their arms outstretched. Their eyes vacant. But as much as Hollywood had constantly warned us that these uncoordinated morons were the real danger, they had nothing on the fungi now crawling out of the school vents.

Now I admit, that doesn’t sound very bad and I bet you’re laughing your ass off that we’re running away from a freaking plant.

But one, some fungi are actually carnivorous. Two, this one is super poisonous and can release spores into the air so you don’t even have to touch it in order to die an agonizing death. And three, I’ve seen an entire army base get consumed by this stuff in only a few hours. It’s not like any fungi you’ve seen before. It spreads more like a wildfire with a brain than anything else.

But hey, I get it. You still think it’s a freaking plant and nothing to worry about. I, and the rest of the world, thought so too at first. After all, when you’re trying to outrun a hoard of zombies, you tend to not notice the new green fuzz decorating your walls.

But that is a mistake. A really big, fucking mistake.
If you’re still not convinced though, just stick around for a while longer. I’m sure someone will die before my story is over. My hope’s on Wallace. He’s a fucking dick.

“Hey, dumbass,” an annoyingly hot man shouted as he joined us from another hallway. “How the fuck did you lose your bag this time?”

Shooting Wallace a glare, I begged my brain to come up with a good comeback. But honestly, what could I say? The backpack had two straps. Two! I had been so certain I could’ve kept a hold of at least one of them as I rummaged through it.

Oh? Just like you’d been so certain a grocery store would be a brilliant place to prepare for the apocalypse?

I scowled at myself. Why did I have to be so sarcastic? And why the hell did I have to constantly bring that up? I mean, okay, that had been a bad idea. I’d nearly gotten trampled to death and had to be saved by – shudder – Wallace. So wasn’t that bad enough? Couldn’t I just give myself a break already?

“Marina!”

Crap. That was Wallace’s annoyed voice. I must have missed something important.

Just as I was about to ask him to repeat himself, my foot slipped. Careening forward, I flailed wildly. My eyes grew to the size of saucers. I sucked in a terrified breath. Anthony shouted behind me and Wallace – Wallace, the absolute dickhead – laughed.

Without even any time to scream, I fell headfirst into a soft pile of green fuzz. The fungi crawled along my arms and legs. Acidic fire burned its way down to my bones. My skin was picked clean in seconds. My eyes were quickly consumed, but I could still see Wallace’s face in my mind. I could still hear his laughter.

For fuck’s sake, I thought to myself. My last thought ever. I was really hoping it’d be Wallace.