I was on a call with a Coach. I had recently met her, and she was offering a complimentary 1×1 as an intro to her program. She asked me to tell her about my most recent work. I began to describe my journey of writing a book. I explained how I couldn’t write the book I wanted to write, but that the words seemed to find me. She asked me about my relationships. I shared some information about the historical ups and downs of my post-divorce dating world. She smiled. Her eyes widened as I talked. I had seen this before–with my therapist. I thought she thought I was crazy. My therapist acknowledged my stress levels. This coach I was talking with acknowledged something different–my human design. She asked me if I knew that I was a reflector in human design.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

WHAT IS THE HUMAN DESIGN SYSTEM?

According to the Jovian Archive, “The Human Design System is a synthesis of ancient and modern sciences, and has proven to be a valuable tool for human understanding.

“With Human Design you discover what makes you different from everyone else. It offers profound insights into your psychology, along with strategies and techniques for making correct decisions and ultimately leading to a life of more ease and fulfillment.”

That, in itself, is glorious. Diving into a more profound understanding of our true selves enables us to stand in our own uniqueness authenticity. Understanding our own design gives us “permission” to do the work we are called to do.

You can go to the Jovian Archive and learn about the types, the strategies, the inner and outer authority, and how it feels/what it means to be a what type you are. (There is no need to put that info here. If you are just starting out in Human Design, dig deep on Jovian to learn more.) But what’s missing, sometimes, is any true depth of information about being a reflector.

On the day of my conversation with that coach, she opened up a door for me. When I walked through it, I began to understand who I am and my true calling. I am still learning, and I will continue to learn. However, what she shared on that day gave me some new insights. She helped me understand why I’ve experienced my journey in this life in the way that I have.

What is a reflector in human design?.

As a reflector in human design, I am a member of approximately 1% of the population. The job of the Reflector is literally to reflect back the health of our communities. We are to share our observations for the betterment of humankind. Reflectors are lunar beings and need, typically, to wait the full cycle of the moon to make big decisions. We also have open energy centers, so we need lots of rest in order to function at optimum levels.

That’s high level stuff you can find when you start to search for info on human design and reflectors. This is especially important if you are/dating/raising one. Now that I understand my design, I get why I need sleep. I’m aware of how the energy of others can significantly impact me. And, maybe most importantly, I don’t get upset with myself anymore when I say no to people. “No, I need more time to make that decision,” is an acceptable answer. I no longer feel the pressure to succumb to the demands of anyone who has a shorter decision-making timeline than I do.

Still somewhat high level, but more intuitive, are the profiles. My profile is a 1/3, the Investigative Martyr. According to The Inner Truth, 1/3s “have a life pattern of needing to investigate things and then experiment with them to see if they work. The first number is the conscious line of the profile and is the investigative energy. The second number is the unconscious line of the profile and is the experimental part of the profile. The 1/3 has to investigate first and then experiment, and always in that order.”

Interesting. So…my design type is to run on intuition by reflecting the energy of others and to make decisions over time. My profile indicates that I need to investigate and learn a lot about something, and then experiment with it in order to fulfil my purpose.

In my call with that coach on that day, when her eyes widened as I told her my story, I felt like somehow I was exposed. I thought she was going to find fault with me or my life. Instead of that, she told me something very different.

She said, “Do you realize, when you were writing, you were in your divine essence?”

My eyes widened.



Read the Real Life Journey of a 1/3 Reflector

Basically, she told me I had written in alignment with my calling and purpose–except, I hadn’t written the book I had set out to write.

I had gone on a road trip to write a book. I had planned to meet people along the way and interview them and tell their stories. That felt safe. Instead, on my road trip, I was consistently pulled to write about my own reflections. Try as I might, I couldn’t write about anyone I met. I was drawn to the idea of sharing my own lessons of my own journey. Why? Because I knew so clearly that it would help others. I had spent my life investigating and learning and then experimenting in my own life. It was only because of all of those experiments and experiences that I was truly ready to share. I was coming into the knowing that my journey of investigation and experimentation might prevent others from some of the struggles I had experienced.

This was exactly what my book had become…even though that wasn’t the book I had set out to write.

I knew, because of my training as a coach, facilitator and mediator that I was meant to work with people and help them navigate life. What I didn’t realize, was that part of my true calling was to share my journey. I found out about all of this well after my book was submitted for publishing. Now, after the fact, I’m sometimes surprised at what I wrote. Some days I still can’t believe how it lends itself directly to the life of a 1/3 reflector in human design.

Since discovering my human design, I’ve already begun to experiment with it. I have so much to learn. But there is a renewed sense of practical awareness that gives me confidence. That confidence enables me to stand in my own truth even more than I did yesterday or the day before.

Here are some truths I’m more firmly rooted in, now that I know more about myself as a reflector in human design:







My need for context helps me reflect what needs to be done. In some work situations, my need for information was sometimes looked at as an downfall. It was actually a gift. I will never again hold myself back from asking contextual questions (and expecting answers). My bullshit meter runs strong. Now…I trust it. Bad vibes mean it’s time for me to go…period.When I’ve taken the time (a lunar cycle) to make a decision, it’s usually the right choice. There’s no harm in waiting. If someone is pressuring me to make a decision, it’s a sign to walk away. Every. Single. Time.I love being with people…until I don’t. When I’m done, I need to rest. If I don’t rest, I’ll be in constant exhaustion, which leads to negativity and disappointment. Reading my body’s cues for when I need to rest is a major priority.Reflectors (myself included) absorb and “sample” energy ALL THE TIME, even while sleeping. Be responsible for your own energy all the time, but especially when you’re around them.When I was a kid and accused of not being loyal to any one group of friends because I could fit in with lots of different groups, it was because I could reflect the energy of any group I was with. It felt good to flow between groups–that’s part of the reflector’s gift. Unfortunately, jealous adolescents don’t appreciate unique gifts and it can leave individuals feeling like outsiders.Sometimes I need to reflect back to someone everything that I’m thinking so I can sort out what’s in my brain. In those instances, I need that trusted person to listen and then reflect back to me or ask me questions about that topic without judgment. When someone can do that for me…it feels emotionally and intellectually amazing.When I don’t feel energetically safe, I need to leave the situation. Boundaries are important. I can be as discreet as possible, but if I need to leave, I leave. The people who get upset when I trust my intuition are not my people. If you’re with a reflector, trust her/his judgment, and do what you can to keep each other safe.Now that I’m self-employed, I believe that my 20 years in surviving as a generator has given me perspective to live life more fully as a reflector. I now know what it’s like to be living as my “not self.” More importantly, I can take the skills learned from all those years with a Fortune 500, and use them to support my new coaching practice with a focus on helping others live in their purpose and truth.I love surprises. When I feel magic and surprise, I know I’m on the right path.

I am learning…and perhaps I’ll revisit this list over time. But here is where it stands today, and I’ve only just started experimenting with my design, the lunar cycles, and the gene keys. I am excited and thankful to be on this journey and enjoy life’s surprises as each new day unfolds.

What I’m really excited about for 2021, is that every coaching package includes a session with a Human Design Expert (not me…I’m still in my infancy in this learning journey)!! We will discuss what you want to focus on in the desired time commitment, discuss your human design and experimenting in your design can bring you more joy. We’ll talk about purpose and timeline and carve out an action plan according to your vision, all aligned to your soul purpose.

It literally is the coolest and most magical offering I could imagine giving my clients at this time.

Also…working with a reflector in human design is one of the best things you can do. We see you. In our sessions, I will hold space and then reflect back to you everything you’re giving me, but packaged differently so you can see it more clearly. I will give you words and concepts based on your energy and aura. I have helped women navigate relationship changes, career transitions, logo creations and business startups.

I’m so excited to enhance the richness of our sessions by incorporating human design.

Schedule a connection call so we can book out your time and make sure you have all you need to live your life fully aligned to your design and purpose.

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Candy Leigh is a Women’s Empowerment Coach and Author. Schedule a complimentary discovery call if you’d like to partner with Candy for 1×1 coaching, book club discussions, or consulting/speaking engagements.

The post What Does It Mean to be a Reflector? appeared first on Candy Leigh.