I had a math teacher in college who gave us an end of semester project. This project was a pretty massive undertaking requiring two people, a math book, and a whole lot of technology. The first day he described it to us, he told us that it would seem like a lot, but he his message to us was simple:

People have done this before you, therefore, you can do this also.

It sounds simple, but I’ve actually thought of that quote anytime I’m about to embark on a new, challenging, or anxiety provoking task. I thought about it before I started graduate school at Columbia. I thought about it when I accepted my Teach for American position and moved to Chicago. Most recently, I thought about it when I decided whether or not to write my book, start this blog, or even think about the idea of working towards a goal.

During this moment in time, however, I find it very difficult to apply this logic because the truth is not many people, if any, have experienced such a situation before. If I’m being honest, it’s never been a concept that has crossed my mind. Now, however, over two weeks since my family has sheltered-in-place, it’s becoming our new normal.

At first, man it was rough. I think the first few days out daughter watched more television than she’d watched her entire two years on this earth. The amount of time I spent on my phone jumped over 100%, as I spent every waking second scrolling though Twitter feeds soaking in any information. Our family went from an almost perfect clean eating routine, to burgers and fries, and lots of ice cream. This lack of normalcy, structure, and, to be honest, good parenting, led to every single person in the house being more irritable, grumpy, and unhappy.

For the first few days I was pissed that this was happening to the world, to our country, and to my family. I was upset that I couldn’t see friends, go grab a drink, and live my normal life. The whole time I was angry because I felt like this…thing…was ruining the life I’d been accustomed to living.

Then I thought of another quote that’s always stuck with me: Why is this happening for me. Even though people before me haven’t done this, doesn’t mean I can’t be the one to get through it. Instead of thinking about all the normalcy I had lost, I started thinking about all the things I’ve gained. Things like getting to spend more time with my children, taking advantage of the time to reconnect with my wife, and being able to write. I’ve connected with friends, and family members in a way I haven’t done in years because I’ve been given the time to do that.

People are struggling out there. It is a scary world to be living in. People have missed weddings, funerals, graduations, first birthdays, and so many other events. Families are separated, friend are separated, and people are out of work. The first thought every morning is always: how much worse will it get today? If I let that question dictate my day, though, I’m going to have an entire month of too much TV, hours more screen time, and an irritated family.

The only thing we can do is try, as difficult as it may be, try to find a way to grow from this moment. That doesn’t mean we can’t be afraid, lonely, or anxious, but if we live in those emotions, we’ll get stuck in them. There has to be a way out and that way out is no longer to look to those who have done it before because they do not exist. The way is to be the ones to make it through, so that god forbid there’s ever a moment like this again, we have help others get through it.

Find the light. Be the light.