In December, I put the finishing touches on the worst book ever written. It is now available as an ebook and in print (rumors have it that the back cover contains a single dose of LSD).

This book will offend everyone.

The woke crowd will find it so politically incorrect, they’ll only stop gagging long enough to upchuck screechy memes about gender bias, misogyny, and homophobia.

Normal folks will find it beyond rude and insulting. They’ll see themselves in the story. It’s not a flattering picture.

Critics will resist even pretending to look at it. The plot is one long flat-line, the characters one-dimensional, the premise facile and implausible, the message superficial and without any redeeming qualities.

I’ve warned my friends and relatives to stay as far away from this piece of literary garbage as possible. If curiosity gets the better of them, I accept no blame and take no responsibility. They were warned.

Why would I write something like this?

That’s easy. In the world of digital publishing, in this age of internet mania, click bait, and mindgame porn, the #1 priority is to separate yourself from the crowd, stand out, get people talking. As an author, there are only two ways to do this. Either write the best book in the world or the worst. I took the easy route.

I’ve achieved what no other author has achieved, or even tried to achieve. This book is so bad, it’s in a class by itself.

It’s a sure #1 at Amazon in …

Literature / Contemporary Fiction / Psychological Dystopia / Euthanasia / Brain Freeze / No Refunds

I’m asking each and every one of you out there to immediately buy this book. I don’t know any of you personally but I want your money. And you don’t know where I live. Don’t come looking for a refund.

Come on! Get on the bandwagon. Sex, Lies & Coffee Beans will give you something to talk about with every one else standing in the checkout lines at Walmart or waiting to get tested for Covid-19.