Weird Stigma (18+)
As with all of my writing, the following is NSFW and 18+
50 Shades of Grey. I never read it. I learned long ago that most erotica writing falls short of my needs. That only my own work will stimulate me. Everything I do is based in some way on actual people I know. Usually my spouse or (now ex) girlfriends. And they need to be in realistic scenarios. I need to buy into the story, or I'll overthink it and thus lose interest.
I never watched the 50 Shades movie either. But I needed to know what all the fuss was about at the very least. So one day I played it on Netflix and fast-forwarded to the 'scenes' and sped through each of those. So it seems to be S&M and/or Domination of some kind. This is what becomes vastly popular in the world of erotica? Pleasure from pain? Submitting to dominance? Tying someone down and simulating helplessness?
Okay. I won't judge. It's not for me, but people can enjoy whatever they want.
So why is my work judged? My writing is beloved by many, but it is also reviled by some. And why? Because it's about committing adultery. It's about betraying a loved one. Somehow, in the eyes of some, cheating on your spouse is worse than tying someone up and whipping them.
That's the part I don't understand. Why myself and others can accept that many people are turned on by bondage or S&M, but some can't be accepting of other turn-ons such as infidelity. Why is that? I have some theories. Most people, at one time or another, were hurt badly by someone who cheated on them. A boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife in their past. And so they are understandably more insecure about it in future relationships. To them, it is the ultimate in pain. More so than with bondage and whips (!).
I, too, was burned. Twice. Each time was immediately after a breakup, and not during. But the hurt was almost as powerful. However, I began to fantasize about what they were doing and I realized it was becoming a turn-on. After the second one happened, it pretty much became my only fantasy. And I would apply to all future relationships. I didn't want them to cheat. I didn't want to cheat (and didn't). But imagining them cheating with someone else, and imagining myself as that 'other person', was incredibly stimulating. Even picturing my significant other's thoughts and desires as they wrestled with the temptation of cheating excited me.
My stories aren't encouraging anyone to commit adultery. My stories are a way of fantasizing about it, without ever doing it. And no, it isn't a 'gateway story' that would lead your husband or wife to go out and cheat after they read enough of them. I've been doing this for twenty-five years and it hasn't gotten me to cheat yet.
So relax. Be more accepting. Give one- or two-star ratings if you feel the writing is weak. But let's not give such ratings because we are intolerant of the genre.
If you agree, let the world know! If you disagree - then let us know why.
JX
50 Shades of Grey. I never read it. I learned long ago that most erotica writing falls short of my needs. That only my own work will stimulate me. Everything I do is based in some way on actual people I know. Usually my spouse or (now ex) girlfriends. And they need to be in realistic scenarios. I need to buy into the story, or I'll overthink it and thus lose interest.
I never watched the 50 Shades movie either. But I needed to know what all the fuss was about at the very least. So one day I played it on Netflix and fast-forwarded to the 'scenes' and sped through each of those. So it seems to be S&M and/or Domination of some kind. This is what becomes vastly popular in the world of erotica? Pleasure from pain? Submitting to dominance? Tying someone down and simulating helplessness?
Okay. I won't judge. It's not for me, but people can enjoy whatever they want.
So why is my work judged? My writing is beloved by many, but it is also reviled by some. And why? Because it's about committing adultery. It's about betraying a loved one. Somehow, in the eyes of some, cheating on your spouse is worse than tying someone up and whipping them.
That's the part I don't understand. Why myself and others can accept that many people are turned on by bondage or S&M, but some can't be accepting of other turn-ons such as infidelity. Why is that? I have some theories. Most people, at one time or another, were hurt badly by someone who cheated on them. A boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife in their past. And so they are understandably more insecure about it in future relationships. To them, it is the ultimate in pain. More so than with bondage and whips (!).
I, too, was burned. Twice. Each time was immediately after a breakup, and not during. But the hurt was almost as powerful. However, I began to fantasize about what they were doing and I realized it was becoming a turn-on. After the second one happened, it pretty much became my only fantasy. And I would apply to all future relationships. I didn't want them to cheat. I didn't want to cheat (and didn't). But imagining them cheating with someone else, and imagining myself as that 'other person', was incredibly stimulating. Even picturing my significant other's thoughts and desires as they wrestled with the temptation of cheating excited me.
My stories aren't encouraging anyone to commit adultery. My stories are a way of fantasizing about it, without ever doing it. And no, it isn't a 'gateway story' that would lead your husband or wife to go out and cheat after they read enough of them. I've been doing this for twenty-five years and it hasn't gotten me to cheat yet.
So relax. Be more accepting. Give one- or two-star ratings if you feel the writing is weak. But let's not give such ratings because we are intolerant of the genre.
If you agree, let the world know! If you disagree - then let us know why.
JX
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Kev wrote: "A fan of yours from Literotica and followed you from here.Thought provoking post, and I agree with you. But it is what it is. In regards to S&M, it is essentially two consenting adults engaging i..."
Wait until Karishma: Addiction comes out. I mean...Karishma: Temptation is Book 2 where the main character (a West Indian woman) gradually falls deeper into her adulterous relationship and it gets hardcore. But Book 3 (out in a month or so) will take that to the next level as she falls completely under his spell and it gets about as hardcore as I have ever written. I'm almost afraid to publish it (almost!).
"Vanilla" is a bit insulting though ;) - I shake up the situations and keep the risk level and excitement at a peak. At least for my tastes (I read my own stuff over and over lol), I prefer the sneaky taboo wrongness of it all. So I keep pushing new ways to present that and when I run out of ways...I end the series. Onto the next one!
I do appreciate your candor and definitely love the discussion
Jordan wrote: "Kev wrote: "A fan of yours from Literotica and followed you from here.Thought provoking post, and I agree with you. But it is what it is. In regards to S&M, it is essentially two consenting adult..."
O.K., when you say you are almost afraid to publish it, I am curious. And for me in a erotic story, the dirry talk sells it for me, so if your newest addition to Karishma series ups the ante in terms of dirty talk, I am definitely buyng it
Kev wrote: "Jordan wrote: "Kev wrote: "A fan of yours from Literotica and followed you from here.Thought provoking post, and I agree with you. But it is what it is. In regards to S&M, it is essentially two c..."
Sorry - that's a little out of character for Karishma. Some, but not much, and not overly creative. I will keep this feedback in mind though and try to be better in this area
Thought provoking post, and I agree with you. But it is what it is. In regards to S&M, it is essentially two consenting adults engaging in it, and th e re is always a way out.
In regards to cheating, it is pretty much the emotional trauma involved and a significant emotional and other involvement down the drain.
But I do agree, cheating is still somehow a major taboo. Especially in 2021, where pretty much every woman is a bisexual and polyamorous relationships abound its still a taboo.
Oh and your cheating stories are still vanilla to me.
I mean I like your stories because your female characters are Indian. In my personal sex life, I had an Indian girlfriend who insisted I call her racist names in bed. Constantly called herself a brown slit and told me to colonise her.
Thays hardcore. Imagine if priya was like that. And guess what, no one would bat an eye, their problem would still be cheating